The caliber of your thoughts determines the caliber of your life. If you want to feel happy and positive, consider asking yourself these compelling questions, which may persuade you to stop beating yourself up.
1. “Would I say something so vile to someone I care about?
How do you think your best friend would react if you called them an ugly loser who will never amount to anything? I'm sure they'd be upset, and maybe even end your friendship, if you were so careless. True friends will give you honest feedback if they believe it is necessary for your personal development, but they will not do so in a condescending or hateful manner. Treat yourself in the same way, because lasting change cannot come from a place of self-hatred.
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2. “How would I feel if my boss or mentor referred to me as a loser?
Could you imagine your boss yelling at you for being so stupid if you made a mistake at work? I doubt it because most people in positions of authority recognize the value of positive psychology. Great leaders provide constructive criticism that encourages their followers to improve without making them feel as if they are incapable of doing so. Treat yourself similarly, because it is far more productive to concentrate on finding solutions rather than obsessing over your flaws.
3. “How many times has worrying about a mistake made me feel better about myself?
Do you really think you'll be able to motivate yourself to find a way out of a bad situation if you spend all of your time worrying about it? I don't like your odds because negative thoughts rarely lead to positive transformation. Positive people do not subject themselves to a chorus of self-defeating thoughts because they believe they are capable of accomplishing anything they set their minds to. Treat yourself similarly, because consistent effort combined with a refusal to give up is an unbeatable recipe for massive success.
4. “Does it make sense to agonize over a decision that cannot be reversed?
Do you think you'll ever find the courage to move on if you're consumed by depressing thoughts about past events that can't be undone? I understand that dealing with regret is easier said than done, but if you want to move forward into a brighter tomorrow, you must develop mental strength today. People who are mentally strong do not dwell on past mistakes because they understand that the most important thing is to make better decisions in the future. Treat yourself similarly, because managing your emotions is essential if you want to be happy and successful.
5. “If I'm willing to forgive others' flaws, why should I expect perfection from myself?
Don't you think you should be more forgiving of yourself if you accept other people despite their flaws? I'm always amazed at how much easier it is to forgive someone else than it is to forgive ourselves. People who are self-assured do not judge others because there is enough darkness in the world; instead, they strive to be a source of light. Treat yourself similarly, because you won't make much progress worth mentioning until you learn to accept yourself.
Please, please, please stop berating yourself. Life is too short to be consumed by worry and regret. Please feel free to forward this article to anyone who might find it useful.
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