“Just be sure of yourself.”
This is probably the most cliched and perplexing piece of dating advice that men all over the world are bombarded with from the time they are old enough to start crushing on the cute girl in math class. It's one thing to tell a guy to “be confident,” but it's quite another to be able to define confidence and show someone exactly how to achieve confidence.
That is why I prefer to phrase this piece of advice differently. I don't tell guys to be self-assured. Instead, I tell them that they must earn their trust. This is why, whenever I hear someone say they wish they could be more confident, I want to slap them.
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You see, confidence isn't something that will magically wash over you if you close your eyes and wish for it. It's something you work on a little bit every day until it becomes a natural part of your mindset.
On that note, here are seven daily exercises that any guy can do to improve his confidence around women.
1. Take care of yourself
Let's start with the fundamentals, shall we? Personal grooming is one of those things that women obsess over and most men are tragically ambivalent about. You see, how you treat your own body is a reflection of your own self-esteem. Every time you walk out the door with your hair disheveled, your fingernails overgrown, and your stubble a few days old, you're effectively telling everyone you pass that you don't think much of yourself. And believe me, women pick up on this right away.
I'm not asking you to spend hundreds of dollars on expensive haircuts and pedicures. It only takes 20 minutes of your time each morning to trim, shave, and clip as needed. So prioritize that exercise in your daily confidence-building routine.
2. Put on a successful outfit
Let me ask you a question: when was the last time you really considered the message your personal wardrobe was sending out to the world? The way you dress, like your personal grooming, sends a powerful message about how you view yourself. And this is a message that women immediately pick up on.
And here's the thing: you don't have to spend thousands of dollars to create a fantastic look. Simply take the time to read a few men's fashion magazines, figure out your own distinct personal style, build a wardrobe around it, and spend a little time each day ensuring that your daily outfit reflects your personal style. You'll notice a difference in how both women and men treat you right away, which will boost your confidence almost immediately.
3. Get some physical activity
Being comfortable in your own skin is one of the most effective ways to boost your self-esteem. Some may argue that your physical appearance is irrelevant when it comes to attracting others, and while this is true in some ways, the confidence that you can gain by getting into great shape is far from irrelevant. Furthermore, regular exercise can make you feel more relaxed and release brain chemicals that are important for your mental health.
So, if your current physical condition leaves something to be desired, make it a point to exercise for at least 30 minutes every day. Remember, you don't need to join CrossFit or hire an expensive personal trainer; a simple 30 minute jog after work each day can do wonders for your body and confidence levels.
4. Pay attention to your body language and practice nonverbal communication skills
One of the most amazing aspects of the human mind is how our physiology can almost instantly influence our psychology. Consider a time when you were extremely self-confident. Maybe you'd just finished a marathon, or maybe you'd just gotten an insanely beautiful woman into bed with you.
Remember how your physiology was. Your head would have been held high, your shoulders back, and your chest puffed out. Now, the next time you're feeling low on confidence, try to imitate this physiology. It may feel like voodoo, but you will notice a slight shift in your mindset.
Spending a little time each day working on your body language and physiology is a great idea. You can begin by standing up straight with your chest out when you walk to work and gradually progress to finer points such as maintaining strong eye contact when speaking to a coworker or speaking slowly and confidently when addressing someone.
5. Hone your conversational skills
Feeling socially inept is one of the few things that can have a negative impact on a man's confidence. And this loss of confidence can have an avalanche effect, in which each failed social interaction leads to a drop in confidence, which leads to more failed social interactions.
So, how do you go about resolving this issue and boosting social confidence? It could be as simple as practicing talking to one stranger every day. It doesn't even have to be a pretty woman, and it doesn't matter what you're talking about. Just make it a point to practice starting and carrying on a conversation with a complete stranger for at least a couple of minutes every day. The social confidence you will gain from this will spill over into your confidence around women.
6. Experiment with something out of your comfort zone
Staying in your comfort zone is a powerful way to suffocate, suffocate, and eventually destroy your self-confidence. When you avoid an unfamiliar situation or task, you are effectively telling your subconscious mind that you do not believe in yourself enough to take on the challenge.
So, starting today, actively work on stepping outside of your comfort zone at least once a day. You don't even have to do anything drastic or risky to put this into practice. You don't have to start by asking out the most beautiful woman you know. Something as simple as confronting a coworker about an issue you've been avoiding or taking a quick improv class can do wonders.
7. Use positive affirmations
Here's the thing: you can work on your physical appearance, career success, and social skills all you want, but if your internal dialogue and thought processes are negative, you'll never be able to build lasting confidence with women or in life.
A simple daily exercise is to write down one positive affirmation about yourself and read it to yourself every morning before you begin your day. The key here is to truly believe in your affirmation with all of your being until you wake up each day with it firmly rooted in your mind. Once you've mastered it, you can gradually increase the number of affirmations you use to improve your life and boost your confidence.
As I previously stated, you are the only person who will ever be able to develop long-term confidence in yourself. So I hope you don't just read this article, but that you actively practice these daily exercises every day until you achieve the level of confidence you desire.
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