Dating a Woman Who Has Been Abused in the Past (The Ultimate Guide + Image Quotes)

We're all aware that dating is fraught with uncertainty. When getting to know a potential partner, most people feel some level of insecurity. Learning how to read another person's signs and signals is an important part of the dating process. It's exhilarating at times and perplexing at others.

What if the person you're dating was in an abusive relationship? Unfortunately, in our society, partner abuse is all too common. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 20 people in the United States are physically abused by an intimate partner every minute. The aftereffects of relationship abuse are long-lasting and can exacerbate the ups and downs of love.

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Here are seven ways that a person who has been through relationship trauma may love differently:

1. We Can Have Low Self-Esteem

The abused person's self-esteem suffers regardless of the type of abuse. Our abusers were critical of us and shattered our self-esteem. We sometimes tell ourselves things that our abusers told us, such as “you're no good,” “how could anyone love you,” or “I hit you because you deserve it.” We need time to recover from the blow to our self-esteem. You can help by realizing that when we are depressed, it is often because we are hearing these thoughts. We'd appreciate it if you could assist us in talking them through, because we know you don't see us that way.

2. We Are Sometimes Skeptical of Kind Acts

Abusers will sometimes shower their partners with gifts and compliments in order to quickly entice them. When the partner becomes addicted, the abuse begins. We sometimes wonder if you are like our abuser if you give us a gift or a compliment early on. We can't help ourselves; we're terrified. However, despite our trepidation, we are extremely grateful for your gift. It is acceptable to inquire as to what is wrong. Sometimes we just don't understand why we react the way we do and how to sort out our emotions.

3. We can be easily startled, flinch, or jump in response to loud noises

Partner abuse can take the form of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse. Because we remember the abuse, loud sounds, certain physical movements, and other things can bring back memories of the abuse. We can appear to freak out, become jittery, or withdraw. We can't help ourselves; our bodies and minds are recalling the abuse.

4. It Can Be Difficult in the Bedroom at First

Getting physically close to someone makes you more vulnerable. We were hurt the last time we were exposed. We want to be able to love and trust again, but we are afraid. Please be patient; we're trying and want you to understand that it's not your fault; it's ours.

5. We Might Attempt to Destroy the Relationship

We may try to push you away from time to time out of fear of getting too close and being hurt again. We may react angrily, withdraw, or be critical. Sometimes we aren't even aware of what we're doing until it's too late. It's just our fear of being hurt again. When you get really close to us, we get really scared and confused. Please understand that it isn't you. We're actually trying to open up and connect, but fear sometimes gets the best of us.

6. We Might Become Attached Too Quickly

People who have been abused by a partner may rush into new relationships in search of the love and affirmation they were unable to find with the abusive partner. We may try to spend all of our time together, possibly move in together, go on vacation together, meet family, all on a schedule that may feel too fast for you.

We want to be in a relationship with a good person, but we're not sure what the rules are. Sometimes we don't want to be alone with our sadness, and being with a caring person is extremely comforting. You can assist us by informing us that we are going too fast and need to slow down. We want to do things correctly. Keep in mind that we are still learning.

7. We May Not Feel Deserving of a Loving Relationship

Our abuser made us feel as if we were unworthy of a healthy and loving relationship. We are working hard to repair the damage, much harder than you might think by looking at us from the outside. We want connection, intimacy, and a mutually respectful relationship just like everyone else. It takes bravery to leave an abusive relationship and reopen our hearts. Understand that we are still working on feeling deserving and lovable. Your compassion goes a long way toward assisting us in healing.

We still bear some of the scars of the bad relationship's abuse. We do, however, have a lot to offer. We have gained courage, compassion, and strength as a result of moving on and coping with abuse. We're putting in a lot of effort to get better. A patient and compassionate partner will see us for the treasures we truly are.

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