So you're casually scrolling through Instagram's “Explore” section when a photo of your ex with a new flame appears.
Yes, your relationship ended, but seeing your ex-partner move on is still awkward and somewhat devastating, especially if the breakup is still fresh. Then you start seeing them everywhere, laughing, having a good time, and posting photos on social media profiles.
This post may contain some affiliate links to products that I use and love. If you click through and make a purchase, I’ll earn a commission, at no additional cost to you. Read my full disclosure here.
People start texting you to tell you about your ex's new relationship, which is like rubbing salt in the wound. This results in self-doubt, low self-esteem, and, in the worst-case scenario, depression. Is there a way to get around this? YES, without a doubt!
Why is it so difficult to accept your ex's new relationship?
How many times have you told yourself that you'll move on and stop thinking about your ex and his or her new relationship? We do it quite frequently. Sometimes we can't help ourselves and jealousy takes over. Getting over your ex and the thought of them already being with someone else can be easier said than done.
According to one study, 88% of 18- to 35-year-olds have stalked their ex's social media profiles, and 80% have stalked their ex's new partners.
According to scientists, the more stalking that occurs, the more distress we experience. We are constantly tempted to look at their profiles, but doing so only adds to our misery. Social isolation, feelings of helplessness and worthlessness, guilt, difficulty concentrating, and other symptoms of depression are not uncommon.
Why is it so difficult to simply come to a halt and move on?
No, you aren't the issue here. According to scientists, we are always competing with our own sex. Because ancient men and women's natural instinct was to breed and compete for alpha dog status, the devastation caused by ex's new relationship is instinctive as well. Despite the fact that you are not even together, you subconsciously think, “that's mine.”
At some point, you begin to believe that he/she will dump the new flame and you will be together. Deep down, you know this outlook is bad for your emotional health and overall well-being. If you don't move on and continue to obsess over your ex finding a new love, you'll miss out on the chance to meet a new boy/girlfriend.
For example, you may be concerned that your ex has a new girlfriend, but you do not. However, just because you are single does not imply that you are emotionally available. Others pick up on it and know you won't be able to commit. You owe it to yourself to find the love, happiness, and relationship that you deserve. But you're probably wondering how to go about it. These pointers can be beneficial.
Keep in mind…
Newer does not always imply superior
One of the most common reasons we can't let go of the fact that our ex has a new love is that we assume this new person is superior to you in every way. To overcome this issue, you should let go of the notion that your ex has received an upgrade. This new person in their life is not necessarily more attractive, intelligent, or beautiful than you.
Remember that the relationship ended because things did not work out; this is life, and these things happen to everyone. It's not always easy to get rid of negative thoughts, but with regular practice, you can do it. Think of a reason to debunk those thoughts every time you start thinking the other person is better and you are worthless.
The beginning of a new relationship does not mean the end of an old one
It's easy to believe that the new relationship erases everything you two had, especially if the breakup was recent. But that's not possible! No, this new person is not a replacement for you. In fact, he or she does not want to be a mere replacement. The new relationship does not include a magical option that erases a person's past. It is entirely natural for both of you to share the same memories. Accepting this fact and recognizing that it is time to move on is a part of growing up.
No, he or she did not win.
Okay, you've probably figured it out by now: your ex won because he or she found a new guy or girl before you did. This isn't about winning; the speed with which you enter a new relationship is determined by your needs and preferences. Your ex's new relationship does not imply that you are a failure. And who cares if someone else thinks the other person is a winner? Because two people were in a relationship, someone else's opinion should not have knocked you down.
Seek out a role model
Humans learn not only from their own experiences, but also from the experiences of others. We can strengthen our willpower simply by learning from people we admire. A practical way to deal with your ex's new relationship is to look for a role model in your own life or in pop culture, i.e. anyone who has been in the same situation and successfully overcome it. We've all been there, so it won't be long. In times of weakness and despair, remember your role model and how he or she dealt with the situation and emerged a stronger, better person.
Get a hobby to pass the time
When we have too much time on our hands, we tend to think all sorts of things, most of which are negative. You become engrossed in a single thought, which grows within you and makes you feel worse. You simply need to divert your attention, find a hobby, or do something you are passionate about. As a result, you will gain confidence, reduce stress, feel emotionally better, and, best of all, you will not spend too much time focusing on your ex and his/her new partner.
Keep an eye out for the white bear
A white bear is defined by psychologists as an occurrence in which we try not to think about something or someone and end up thinking even more. Don't be surprised if your ex and his girlfriend appear in your thoughts from time to time. Let's face it, you occasionally think of people from your high school. Is this a cause for concern? No! Forcing yourself to stop thinking about them may have the opposite effect. You simply need a good strategy to deal with those thoughts, such as finding a positive trait about yourself every time you believe the other person is superior (1st point).
Take your time recovering and be patient
When it comes to dealing with the ex moving on, we often feel depressed and hurt because we did not expect it to happen so quickly. This occurs regardless of how long it has been since the breakup or who caused it. Sometimes you are the one who ended the relationship, but you are still upset because the ex has moved on. Take his/her actions as a measure of your own worth and avoid viewing them as a form of retaliation. People heal at different rates and at different times. The best thing you can do is focus on yourself, your emotional and physical well-being, and then get back into the game of finding a new, healthy relationship when the time is right.
Getting over an ex is not an easy task, especially if the other person has moved on and found someone else. This is a significant blow to our self-esteem and mental health, but only because we are prone to comparing ourselves to others. The key is to cultivate a positive attitude and live a healthy lifestyle. You'll proceed at your own pace while remaining open to a new relationship.
Body Language Rubbing Nose: People who feel self-conscious often touch their nose. This is especially true when someone does not want to lie or is nervous about a question. A lie is often a person's mind going a mile a minute. People who lie often rub their nose while people who are uncomfortable with the question asked or who are on the defensive rub their nose. When someone rubs their nose, it is likely they are defensive, uncertain about how to respond, or they are trying to think of a way out of what is being asked of them. A person rubbing their nose while engaged in conversation is often someone who is engaged in tense conversation. Read more.
Why Can't I Control My Thoughts: Some days I feel like I'm having a conversation in my head with someone, other days I feel like I'm watching a movie in my head or another time, I feel like I'm experiencing emotions that I've never felt before. What's going on? Why can't I control my thoughts and why do they sometimes feel so real? This is a common question and thankfully, there is research and analysis done to try and understand why we experience certain thoughts and why we can't control every single one. There are many reasons for this and we can look at these reasons to get insight into our brains and how we function. It's important to get to the bottom of things and apply this knowledge to help us not feel so crazy and get us thinking about our minds differently. Read more.
Top Priority: The first step to learn about taking first aid is to first look up the first aid kit. Here, you will see the first aid kits, first aid provider course (if you can take it), and first aid provider certification (if you're able to find one, given it's price). This is the best way to start. It will teach you how to take first aid, how to use first aid kits, and will also give you the certification necessary to be a first aid provider. It's an excellent way to take first aid! Read more.
Stop Dreaming Start Doing: One brilliant quote from one of the greatest musicians of the 20th century. It's important to realize that without action, nothing will happen. Stop dreaming and start moving! The best way to be successful at anything is to take the first step. For example, if you want to be a writer, you have to practice writing every day. If you want to be a better dancer, you have to practice dancing every day. If you want to be a better cook, you have to practice cooking every day. So stop dreaming and start doing! Read more.
Dreams and Goals: Your dreams and goals will need to be put to paper for you to accomplish them. You should figure out what kind of goals you want to accomplish, such as starting a family, going on a vacation, buying a new car, etc. Once you decide what you want to do, you should decide when you want to do it by and how much money you will need. If you want to buy a new car, for example, write down that you want to do that by February 20th. Then, write down how much money you will need to buy the car. If you don't have that amount of money saved up, write down how you will save up that amount of money. Once you have that amount of money saved up, you can buy the car! Read more.
You have heard it all before: "Live life to the fullest", "follow your dreams", "be who you are" and "if it is meant to be, it will be". These are all wonderful quotes that are meant to help you live a happy life but they miss the point. Our lives are interconnected with each other and with the world.
No matter how hard you think you try, there’s always going to be a certain level of stress in your life. And when stress gets out of hand, it can start to negatively affect your life. But this doesn’t have to be the case. There are some easy steps you can take to improve your life in the long run, and we’ve found a few that can help you enjoy a better life and get rid of stress.