Guys, whether you like it or not, we ladies adore gentlemen. We appreciate all of your kind gestures and words as much as we appreciate Mom's homemade apple pie. Those hand-picked roses from your neighbor's garden might also work, but do they really?
You can still be a gentleman and win our hearts without going overboard. Yes, even the coldest of hearts can be warmed by simple deeds (did you notice how I stressed deeds?) and words (because, yes, words do count!).
1. Do exactly what you say
Relationships frequently fall apart as a result of broken promises. Gentlemen almost never, if ever, break their promises (except for really valid reasons). And when I say valid, I mean unexpected (as in unexpected and completely emergent) reasons. Life-or-death situations count more than laziness or simply being “out of the mood.”
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If you're not feeling up to doing something, tell your partner, and maybe (just maybe) she'll understand. Yes, we understand that you are a human being with mood swings. You want to stay at home or go on an all-boys day out, just like we girls. So please feel free to tell us the REAL reason you're not interested in having lunch with us, and we'll do our best to understand. It is simply a matter of communication.
2. Express yourself politely
I understand that it may appear difficult for those who aren't natural “sweet-talkers.” But, dude, your words have the power to make or break your relationships. When you know you're going to offend your significant other, you might be able to hold off on saying that nasty word, or better yet, don't say it at all.
Of course, you could argue that it varies depending on personality, but will it really be a death sentence for you if you refuse to utter those hurtful words? So what if you don't think she's as lovely as the first time you met her? So what if her hair isn't as straight or curly as you'd like it to be? Is it better to tell her outright that she is no longer beautiful? Consider it, because you might be able to save a dying relationship.
3. Keep the door open for her
Trust me when I say that old-school actions still work. No matter how much she insists on opening it herself, be aware that she also requires you to be present for her (even for the littlest things). And, yes, we are grateful for the initiative. Even with regard to doors.
4. After a date, bring her home
It may be awkward, especially if you still don't have “wheels” to drive her home after your date (not to mention an additional expense for you), but what better way to be a gentleman than to show her parents/siblings/guardians (especially if she still lives with them) that you took excellent care of their princess? Yes, this is a proper way to be a gentleman without overdoing it!
5. Take charge of the minor details
Being a gentleman is more than just saying the right words. The little things you plan for (especially for future dates) matter a lot. Instead of letting her make all of the decisions, why not start by making a list of places to visit (Note: These do not have to be expensive). When you've finished your list, show it to her and let the two of you plan your itinerary together. Aside from demonstrating that you intend to take her to a simple yet memorable hangout, you will undoubtedly demonstrate that you are serious about your intentions with her.
6. When going out, seek permission from her parents/siblings/guardian
Okay, this may apply to those who have not yet married (again, depending on cultural preferences), but I'd like to emphasize the importance of seeking parental approval. Some may disagree with this practice, but it is unquestionably a gentleman's way of showing respect to them.
Call it corny, but even millennials must respect their parents' views on important issues (especially that of the heart). You, the gentleman, are also demonstrating how serious you are about her by doing so.
And, for the ladies, it's also a good habit to (most of the time) keep your parents informed of your whereabouts. This is not to invade your privacy in any way, but if you still live with your parents, you'll be in good hands knowing that your parents believe in you and your guy. That is the most wonderful sensation I have ever experienced.
7. Be courteous (even to strangers)
A gentleman is not easily irritated by trivial matters. Have you ever had a waiter spill orange juice on your freshly ironed suit? Would you scream at him right away? Uh-oh. Already spells D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.
Yes, we ladies appreciate a calm demeanor, especially when it comes to trivial matters. Have you ever noticed how I always emphasize the simple things? It's because they are the most important. How much more respectful will you be to us in the long run if you can't be polite to the people around you?
8. Be especially courteous to your mother
Being courteous on the streets is already a huge plus. What more could we ask for in terms of your mother and family as a whole? If you are already courteous, polite, and nice to your parents, you will have an easier time showing your lady love your gentleman-ness.
A gentleman's vocabulary does not include the word “rude.” Though there may be times when you feel off (due to unresolved issues in your career, family, or so on), it never hurts to smile or say things in a nice way. Your politeness will undoubtedly get you far!
9. Make a concession
Can't decide where to go? You don't want to go where your lady wants to go? It's not a problem because a gentleman learns to compromise. Even if going to the KTV is a no-go for you, if your girl wants to spend some time belting her lungs out, you might want to accompany her there as well. After all, you adore her, don't you? Even if you don't want to sing (or if you think you might break the mirrors), going with her won't hurt. And, yes, that is a gentleman's way of saying that he is not just being the love of her life for the sake of convenience; he is in it for the long haul.
10. Carry her bulky luggage (literally)
A gentleman is aware when his lady is having difficulty carrying her belongings. If you are a true gentleman, you would offer a hand with her shopping bag, trash bags, milk cans, and other items. Although we now hold gender equality in high regard, it won't hurt if you lend a hand to your girl.
11. Provide her with a seat
Offering your girl a seat (whether at a restaurant, bus, or queue, for example) is a time-honored way to express your concern for her. Not only will you be rekindling the good old days when you were truly, madly courting her, but it will also make her feel so special that she will have trouble sleeping, remembering your gentle nature.
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