How to Make a Change in Your Life, One Day at a Time

You return from work. You're exhausted. It had been a long day. You're aware that there are things you could do to get out of the rut you're in.

But, let's be honest, this isn't the case. You'd rather unwind, sit down, and unwind for a while. Take a bite to eat. View your favorite show.

Video Guide


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The day will be over by the time you finish that. There simply isn't enough time. To make matters worse, you lack the energy and willpower to make changes in your life right now.

So, what's the next step?

What you need are some simple actions that have been proven to work

This article will give you four steps to make changes in your life that you can start doing today to get closer to success – even if you are tired and lazy.

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These steps have proven to be effective for me and many of the private coaching clients I work with.

1. Put an end to inconsistency by giving up motivation

When most people want to make changes in their lives, they focus on creating lengthy to-do lists and plans. They keep thinking about what is wrong, what is going well, what they want, and so on.

All in an attempt to increase their motivation.

What do you think? This isn't going to happen.

Willpower and motivation are both emotions. Feelings are hazy and untrustworthy.

Instead, you should concentrate on placing your flawed, unpredictable self in the best environments possible.

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If you only do one thing from this list, make it THIS:

Find and go to the best environment possible for the area of your life that you want to change.

As an example:

  • If you want to get in shape, set a goal of going to the gym three times per week as your first step.
  • If you want to find a new relationship, go to a singles meetup in your city.
  • If you want to be productive and make your business idea a reality, don't work at home; instead, go to a nearby coworking space.

People fail to become the best versions of themselves because they underestimate the power of their surroundings to influence their behavior.

Accept that you are flawed, that you are prone to distractions, and that your motivation and willpower will fail you.

What is the best hack you have at your disposal? Show up to “change-inducing” environments and push yourself (physically) out of your comfort zone!

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OK. The following step is to

2. Assemble an Elite Team to Assist You (For Free)

Send this message to one person you already know and believe can assist you in making changes in your life:

“Hey [first name], how are you?” Can I be completely open and honest with you? I'm having one of those ‘OMG I NEED TO CHANGE MY LIFE!' moments.

And I was looking for advice on the internet when I came across an article that suggested accountability. So, here I am, messaging you to invite you to be a part of my accountability system.

My request is straightforward.

Can we get together once a week at [x location] but not socialize? I'll buy the [coffee/food] and use it as a space to force myself to do [x]. You literally have to do nothing but eat the free coffee/food that I pay for. However, it will keep my accountability high, which is exactly what I need.

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What do you think? Can you assist me? Thanks!”

Change the language to suit your needs, but you get the idea.

Not only are you going to environments that will help you make changes, but by bringing a friend (or two), you increase your chances of success even more. It doesn't even have to be in person; a video call could suffice.

People fail to make positive changes in their lives because they try to do everything themselves.

It doesn't work in the long run, and it doesn't have to be this way.

You can “enlist” and “recruit” people to assist you. By doing so, you are addressing your fluctuating motivation.

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People are not only happy to help, but they are also inspired and motivated to change their lives when they see this type of behavior. You soon find yourself effecting change not only in your own life, but also in the lives of others.

So, when will the next lapse in willpower occur?

You have a friend sitting right next to you, watching your every move and ensuring that you complete your tasks.

3. Establish Long-Term Habits

Changing your life entails changing your daily habits.

Habits are automatic behaviors that you perform on a daily basis, similar to how a clock works, without thinking about it or motivating yourself to do so.

Some habits aid in change, while others stymie it. Treating your ‘bad' habits like old clothes is one of the best ways to replace them with good ones. What happens when your t-shirt becomes worn, faded, and out of style? You swap it out for something new and improved.

Do the same with your habits – upgrade and replace them with better ones. Begin with a low level of difficulty and gradually progress to a higher level of difficulty.

Let me give you an example to demonstrate what I mean:

I was trying to start my own habit of meditating every day a few years ago (before it became popular) to help boost my productivity and mindfulness. I'd completed a mind-boggling course called Vipassana. It entailed ten days of intense meditation combined with noble silence in a remote part of the United Kingdom.

It was now simple to do because I was there (#1 – environment!) with all those other meditators (#2 – people assisting me). All I could think about was meditating. There were NO DISTRUCTIVES. I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.

When I got home, however, after a few days of defiance, I quickly caved.

Those extra 30 minutes of sleep were far preferable to waking up at 4 a.m. every day for a one-hour meditation session.

So, what did I do to develop this critical habit?

I wanted to make changes in my life, as I do with most things. I aspired to be my best self.

I was well aware of how critical it was. I simply couldn't follow through on a consistent basis and kept failing.

Then it dawned on me.

I had to start small. I made a minor adjustment, and it made all the difference.

I made a small change that I could stick to – without fail – and it has resulted in me meditating every single day now.

What exactly was it?

Instead of attempting to do something BIG on an irregular basis (1 hour of 4 a.m. morning meditation) and failing repeatedly. I resolved to do something small on a regular basis.

It all comes down to repetition when it comes to developing a good habit. The brain's structure lends itself to this.

My new habit was:

When I wake up, I will neatly fold my bedding. Then I'll sit cross-legged with my eyes closed for 30 seconds.

I eventually got there after doing this consistently for a few months. I increased the level of difficulty.

When I wake up, I will neatly fold my bedding. Then I'm going to meditate for 10 minutes.

What makes this work?

What matters here is that the desired behavior (meditation) is linked to another consistent habit (folding your bedding).

I linked my new habit to one that was already in place.

Making it more likely that it will occur.

Second, I aimed for consistency rather than perfection. This is where many people fail. They have an idea of what they want to change, but it's all or nothing.

When you do this, you miss out on the power of consistency. Your brain is obsessed with patterns. In this case, I trained my brain to fold my bed in a specific pattern every morning.

There was no need for motivation or willpower.

This training has progressed to the point where missing a day of meditation makes me feel very uneasy. I'm as conditioned to meditate as most people are to check their phones first thing in the morning.

If you want to learn more about breaking bad habits, Lifehack's CEO has written a guide on the subject: Breaking Bad Habits: In less than two months, I was able to break three bad habits.

4. Make more time by limiting your use of social media

You know what the best thing I've ever done for my productivity was, and it only took me 30 seconds?

All social media apps were deleted from my phone and blocked on my laptop.

Then, to reinforce it, I informed all of my Facebook friends and followers (my most used platform) that I would not be using it for a while.

There's nothing wrong with my social media right now. Social media is merely a tool. Tools are apolitical. It is how we use them that determines whether they are “productive” or “distracting.”

We must each decide how healthy our usage is, especially when it comes to unlocking our best selves. That being said, I believe that limiting our usage is a significant benefit for the majority of people reading this, including myself.

One of the most effective ways to make changes in our lives is not to acquire new tools or techniques. However, we should simply get rid of anything that is distracting us.

I rely heavily on social media for my businesses. I'm a “social media influencer” and a “YouTuber” in the technical sense. Isn't it necessary for me to post on a regular basis?

Because our situations are unique, I devised a unique solution. After removing and blocking these apps from my devices, I installed social media management software that allows me to continue posting updates.

The big difference is that I can't waste time scrolling and getting distracted.

If you need some extra motivation, read this article: How to Quit Social Media for a Happier and More Focused Life.

Final Thoughts

More isn't always a good thing when it comes to change. It is sometimes necessary to do less and to get rid of what distracts or blocks you.

Attempting to do things on your own is a sure way to fail. Share your goals and pitfalls with others; no one will assist you unless you ask.

Begin with small, consistent changes rather than large ones. failed on a regular basis Over time, the momentum will produce results.

So, what should you do next to make positive changes in your life?

Make a list of where you intend to GO in order to effect the desired changes.

Using the message template I provided, message 3 to 4 people on social media and ask them to assist you.

Choose one small habit to begin with and gradually improve over time.

To make it stick, delete all, or at least most, social media apps from your devices and notify people you're leaving.

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You have heard it all before: "Live life to the fullest", "follow your dreams", "be who you are" and "if it is meant to be, it will be". These are all wonderful quotes that are meant to help you live a happy life but they miss the point. Our lives are interconnected with each other and with the world.

No matter how hard you think you try, there’s always going to be a certain level of stress in your life. And when stress gets out of hand, it can start to negatively affect your life. But this doesn’t have to be the case. There are some easy steps you can take to improve your life in the long run, and we’ve found a few that can help you enjoy a better life and get rid of stress.

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