How to Stop Being Possessive (The Ultimate Guide + Image Quotes)

Possessiveness over a partner can only harm a relationship. People may feel possessive for a variety of reasons, including trust issues, jealousy, or low self-esteem. Here are some pointers to help you keep things in perspective if you or your partner are experiencing possessive behavior.

1. Let go of the past

You may have been cheated on or lied to in the past, but this is a new relationship. Don't let the past ruin what you've got going for you right now. Your partner is a different person than your ex, and he or she deserves a new beginning. Not to mention that letting go of the past will make you feel better! You can't change what's already happened, so let go of the past pain and focus on the relationship you're in right now.

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2. Avoid being overbearing

The more you are concerned that your partner does not love you or is not being truthful with you, the more you will push him or her away. No one wants to be with a needy person, so don't heap all your love-related fears and concerns on your partner. Believe them when they say they love you because they chose to be in a relationship with you. Allow them to go out without you, and don't give them the third degree when they return home. If you make your partner feel as if they've done something wrong when they haven't, they may wonder what it's worth to be good.

3. Take charge of your own life

This is related to not being overbearing. If you have your own job, hobbies, and social life, you will be a more interesting person to your partner. Of course, it is important to spend time together, but it is also enjoyable to spend time apart and have different things to share and talk about when you are together.

4. Don't let the green-eyed monster devour you

Jealousy not only destroys relationships quickly, but it also makes you bitter and hateful in your daily life. That green-eyed monster will cut you down and make you feel worthless in no time. Turn that negative attitude around by remembering that your partner is with you because you are a great, quality person on your own. You don't have to be envious of anyone else they might be spending time with. Make sure you are aware of your own worth and recognize that your partner is fortunate to be with you.

5. Get to know each other's friends

Being familiar with each other's social circles is a great way to avoid jealousy. If you know who your partner spends time with, you'll know there's no need to be concerned. Another advantage is that you may like their friends and want to spend time with them as well.

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6. Do not try to persuade your partner to change

You knew who your partner was when you first met him or her; why do you want to change him or her now? Telling yourself that the other person needs to change could be your easy solution to any problems in the relationship.

7. Look for the source of the problem

What is the source of your possessiveness in your relationship? Whether it's a fear from a previous relationship or something that happened as a child, you must determine what is causing you to feel and act this way. It will assist you in coming to terms with your problem and overcoming it, which will make you feel better and benefit future relationships.

8. Have faith in your partner (and yourself)

People frequently feel insecure about others because they are projecting something that they see in themselves. You may be concerned that your partner flirts with his or her friends because you flirt with your friends. You should be able to trust your partner to do the same if you trust yourself to only flirt and not go beyond that—only it's fair!

9. Do not eavesdrop

It's okay to admit it—everyone has! Checking emails from an open account, scrolling through sent text messages, browsing the browser history… It may appear to be normal and harmless, but it is causing cracks in the relationship. You clearly believe there is something to be found, which undermines the trust you have (or should have) in your partner. Not to mention how embarrassing it is if they catch you! Keep yourself occupied. Do something else in another room while they're on the phone so you don't get tempted to listen in. Before you leave the computer, ensure that you have signed out of all of your email accounts. If you don't have opportunities to spy on your partner, it will fade from your mind and you will lose the desire to spy on them.

10. Be honest about your problems

Tell your partner how you feel without sounding as if you're blaming them. Tell them about a problem in your past that makes it difficult for you to trust. Inform them of your feelings when they do certain things. Make sure you present things as an open dialogue rather than a fight. If you are open and honest about what bothers you, your partner is more likely to listen to you. It will be easier to stop being possessive if you are both on the same page. When everything is out in the open, you can begin to work through it—together!

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