Humble Confidence (The Ultimate Guide + Image Quotes)

The question is whether you should be confident or not. I'm not sure about you, but I've been perplexed by all of the talk about confidence lately. Is it really necessary for you to be more confident, or should you try to be more humble? I believe the answer is both – you just have to know when and where to apply it.

Confidence is a Cultural Thing in the East vs. the West

The answer to the confidence debate is obvious in typical Western countries – more is better. Our heroes are rebellious, self-sufficient, and prefer to shoot first and ask questions later.

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In Eastern countries, the tone is frequently markedly different. Elders are supposed to be respected rather than dismissed. The words ‘guru,' which means ‘teacher,' and the philosophy of dharma, which loosely translates to ‘duty,' are derived from this. In Eastern cultures, humility and respect take precedence over confidence.

These are generalizations, but they demonstrate how deeply ingrained the confidence debate is in our culture. Both extremes of pure confidence and pure humility, in my opinion, are misguided. Instead of simply blending the two: becoming somewhat humble and somewhat confident all of the time, I believe the solution is to know when to be confident and when to be humble.

Know When to Use Humble Confidence

I'm going to make another broad statement. I believe that almost every relationship you will have will fall into one of two major archetypes: master or student. This master/student role may switch frequently in peer relationships, but it is extremely rare that the relationship never leans to one side.

In the master role, you show confidence in your ability to achieve your goals. This person is a public speaker, a leader, or a seducer. Being the master has its benefits. With this role, you have more power and influence.

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The student role is diametrically opposed. You are displaying humility on purpose. The student, disciple, or follower. Being a student has its benefits as well. In this role, you can learn a lot more and are more likely to gain the trust of the other person.

Understand When to Say “No” and “Learn”

If you're a typical Westerner, you're probably already considering which role you'd like to play. It's an honor to be the leader. You gain respect and a higher social status. Most importantly, you gain more control.

However, you cannot and should not always try to be the leader. Attempting to fill that role without the necessary skills, resources, or status will result in conflict. More importantly, there are many occasions when you intentionally want to show humility. The following are some of the advantages of the student role:

You gain more knowledge

Relationships are smoothed.
Others are more willing to lend a helping hand as a result.
Knowing when it is advantageous to take the humble path. It is far easier to obtain mentors and advisors if you approach them with humility rather than arrogance. A small ego sacrifice can open up the possibility of learning a lot.

Persuasion confidence, learning humility

In reality, almost no relationship is as well defined as the master/student relationship. People in our network have overlapping areas of expertise. To a non-blogger, I may be an expert in blogging, but they may be an expert in finance. There are various roles to play in each area.

Before engaging in any interaction, consider its purpose. Are you attempting to educate or persuade?

Persuasion necessitates trust. If you are trying to sell, instruct, or lead, you must be confident in your message. However, learning necessitates humility. If you are constantly arguing with your professors, mentors, or employers, you will not learn anything. Taking a dose of humility and pretending to be a student for a while allows you to absorb.

Learn More, Persuade Less

Persuasion is effective in the short term, but learning is more important in the long run. Instead of exuding confidence in all of your interactions, look for opportunities to learn. Persuading someone to follow you may provide an immediate sense of accomplishment, but it is fleeting. Learning, on the other hand, is a long-term investment.

When I make a connection with someone and discover they have a skill or understanding I desire, I make a point of expressing humility in that area. That means paying attention to what they say, even if I don't agree right away, and being patient with their response. This method frequently reduces the amount of time I need to spend on trial and error to learn on my own.

Communication Skills Aren't Replaced by Confidence/Humility

This method of using confidence and humility selectively for different purposes does not replace communication skills. Humility will not work if the other person regards you as an annoying whiner. Confidence won't work if everyone in the room thinks you're a haughty jerk. It takes practice to be able to demonstrate these two characteristics.

When you're about to engage in an interaction, ask yourself why you're doing it. Are you attempting to persuade or educate? Depending on which, you can take a completely different approach and achieve far superior results.

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