I Am Mad (The Ultimate Guide + Image Quotes)

Wouldn't it be amazing to be able to have a juvenile temper tantrum without being arrested?

I admit that I don't cringe when I see a kid losing his marbles in the cereal aisle. I'm envious.

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Who can blame you if, after a certain age, you begin to hold back on the intensity of your emotions? Being overly happy is now considered naive, being overly sad is an automatic clinical diagnosis, and being overly angry is a complete waste of energy.

You've heard everything. Accept it. Allow it to go. Continue your journey.

It's not worth it to be angry. Right?


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Anger is the most powerful emotion you possess. When you're angry, it's a warning sign that something needs to change, and when you're extremely angry, something needs to change right away.

Depending on the situation, you can deal with anger in two ways: as it occurs or as a building block toward larger life changes.

Decide which fork in the road you should take right now, then use one or more of the options below:

When You're Extremely Angry

1. Allow it to Happen

You were given a wide range of emotions for a reason, so make use of them. It is unhealthy to suppress your anger. It can cause ulcers and heart disease, not to mention the harm it can do to your relationships and overall well-being.

This may appear strange, but give it a shot! When you're having trouble expressing yourself, imagine a little Meg Ryan on your shoulder saying, “Fester fester fester, rot rot rot.”

Your anger will not go away if you try to hide it or ignore it. It may go away for a while, but it will eventually manifest itself elsewhere.

(((Instant Book Preview of I Am Mad)))

Don't apologize or justify your rage. You're angry for a good reason, and admitting it is the first step toward resolving the issue.

2. Distancing Emotion from Action

You'll probably want to pull a Godzilla and destroy everything in your path, but it's important to take a step back and feel the emotion before acting on it, especially if you're angry—let the anger run its course. Prematurely taking action may cause more anguish than waiting to give your anger perspective.

After you've calmed down, you might discover:

The situation was not as serious as you thought.

It will lead to better things for you in the long run.

The problem will require more than an outburst to be resolved.

(((Instant Book Preview of I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!)))

Alternatively, you may discover that your rage was triggered by something completely unrelated.

3. Determine Why

Extreme rage is usually the result of a series of minor irritants. It's like lighting a match: a person or situation irritates you, and your suppressed emotions bubble to the surface. What's awkward about this level of rage is when it strikes: it usually happens at inconvenient times, such as when you're at work or with loved ones.

The issue isn't the delay in dealing with your anger; it's when the delay becomes avoiding it entirely. Either the initial rage fades and you try to dismiss it, or you're so preoccupied with your schedule that you simply add it to the pile of unresolved issues.

When you're feeling particularly irritated, don't just tell yourself you'll deal with it later; schedule some alone time. Make it a reality.

4. Exercise to relieve stress

Physical activity is a great way to release tension: use your rage as fuel for a healthier lifestyle.

Try out different workouts to see which ones are the most effective at calming your anger. Some people prefer more aggressive forms of exercise, such as kickboxing or running, while others prefer quieter activities, such as walking, gardening, or (gasp!) cleaning.

(((Instant Book Preview of I Was So Mad)))

5. Postpone Your Reaction

Inhale deeply if you're in a situation where dealing with your anger right away isn't an option. Count to ten or repeat a relaxing phrase as you exhale. Continue doing so until you regain your sense of center.

6. Divert Your Attention

If you divert your attention, you will be able to focus on the present moment and prioritize your emotions.

Consider a pleasant memory, read a book, or go to your happy place (or borrow Happy Gilmore if you have to).

7. Complete Your Homework

Do your homework before reacting if you are extremely angry because of something beyond your control, such as losing a promotion to someone else. Look beyond what has occurred to determine why it has occurred. Look beyond someone's actions to their intentions: most of the time, they don't mean to hurt you.

There are always underlying circumstances—a cause and effect—and it is critical to examine a situation from every angle so that all perspectives are considered. Nothing calms an angry person down like logic.

If you're still angry afterward, research how others have dealt with similar situations and strive to be the one who emerges a better person.

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8. Don't Be a Victim

The worst thing you can do is blame your problems on the entire universe.

Yes, this person wronged you, and yes, the situation could have been handled better, but you have a mind of your own: your life isn't happening to you, so why are you acting as if it is?

You'll keep making the same mistakes and fanning the fire instead of putting it out until you accept responsibility for your part in what's happened—how your reaction to this person and that situation led you to where you are today.

Do not inquire, “Why me?” “What now?” you might ask.

9. Locate a Safe Haven

We all have a “spot”: a primary location where we go to think or relax. This can be a special room in your home or a patch of forest you've claimed as your own. It doesn't matter where this spot is as long as visiting it makes you feel calm and energized.

When you are extremely angry, you are both physically and emotionally overstimulated—the demands on your time will inevitably catch up with you. If the situation allows you to leave and take a break, do so and return to your spot as soon as possible.
Sometimes all you need is a change of scenery (and pace) to help you relax and gain perspective. During these quiet moments, consider ways to reduce or eliminate the triggers that are making you angry.

10. Take a Deep Breath Before Leaping

If you suspect someone has betrayed you, your first reaction is likely to confront and lash out at them.

While I believe in always trusting your instincts, I would advise you to take a step back before confronting them and assess the situation: did you hear this through the grapevine? Is it plausible, or does it seem out of character for them? What are you going to say when you confront them? What exactly do you want to know?

Line up your cards and give them a chance; you don't want to assume the worst.

If you've had problems with someone in the past, try to be as specific as possible about your rage. Concentrate on the current situation.

If you combine all of your rage toward them, it will inevitably result in even more rage and a much larger argument than is necessary.

11. Discuss Your Anger with a Reliable Person

When you're having a bad day or going through something that's causing you ongoing stress, find someone you can confide in. This could be a family member, a close friend, or a coworker. Even if they don't give you specific advice, simply sharing what's bothering you may help you find a solution.

I've gone into a conversation asking a question and found the answer during my stream of consciousness rant on numerous occasions.

12th. Play music

Music is one of the best tools to have in your arsenal for dealing with anger for several reasons:

Listening to aggressive music that matches your mood allows you to productively work through the emotion.
Slower music (such as acoustic) allows you to slow down your thought process and relax.
Listening to songs with lyrics that are relevant to what you're going through can help you put your own experiences into context.
When “the little things” irritate and distract you, you can drown out your thought process by turning up the volume.
Choose whether you want to use music to work through or distract from your anger, and then press play.

13. Send an email

After you've argued with someone, been wronged by them, or your anger toward them has lingered longer than it should, send them an e-mail to create your own closure.

Write your rage in a stream-of-consciousness format, then continue to revise the e-mail as you recall new things you would have liked to say at the time.

Get everything out of your system about the issue as the words come to you on your own time. When you don't have anything else to say and you've perfected the e-mail, delete it.

Erasing the e-mail can serve as a symbolic gesture toward letting go of what is bothering you. You'll feel a lot lighter afterward, believe me.

14. Create a List

Make a list of everything, everyone, and everything that makes you angry. Please be as specific and detailed as possible, and then rate each item on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 equaling Annoyed and 5 equaling Infuriated. Next, decide whether you can reduce or eliminate it from your life.

Plan ways to reframe your feelings about the items that must stay so they don't send you off the deep end. Do everything possible to eliminate what irritates you, no matter how long it takes—nothing is worth jeopardizing your heart health for.

15. Unplug from Your Triggers

There are always little things that set us off, no matter how insignificant they are.

Me? Weekend shopping turns me into a complete nutcase. (I won't even go into the story about the guy who slowed everyone down by attempting to return a microwave that he apparently hadn't used, despite the fact that there was food stuck in it!) Not only do I avoid shopping on weekends, but I also avoid shopping during peak hours, allowing me to fully enjoy my shopping experience.

Be aware of your triggers. It doesn't matter why something ticks you off; just acknowledge that it does and do what you can to work around it—for yourself and those who cross your path.

16th. Renovate

Your home should always be a place where you can unwind. Take the time to transform your home into an oasis if it feels less like a home and more like a mental institution.

De-clutter, use stress-relieving colors, and why not experiment with feng shui—it couldn't hurt, right?

17. Watch a Laugh-Out-Loud Movie/Show

When you've exhausted all other options and still can't get rid of your rage, why not laugh it off? (Literally.)

Laughter relieves tension, promotes muscle relaxation, and reduces mental load. Who cares if there is a lot of controversy surrounding studies on how laughter improves your health? Laughing is not a bad thing. Anger is capable of doing so. Period.

18. Prioritize Yourself

Many of us do not prioritize our health, despite the fact that it is constantly on our minds.

However, if you become more conscious about it—cutting back on things like caffeine and nicotine, getting more sleep, exercising regularly, and reducing stress—you can be sure that your emotional fuse will not be tested as frequently.

19. Engage in Some Relaxation

What are your favorite pastimes? Which ones make you feel completely at ease? Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy but never have time to pursue?

Reconnect with the things you enjoy doing. Doing what you enjoy makes you feel more fulfilled, and feeling fulfilled reduces your desire to be angry.

20. Use Anger to Motivate Change

I enjoy anger because I've learned how to control it, and you can too.

There was a time when my life turned out exactly how I swore it would never turn out, and I was so exhausted from just surviving that I had no idea how to make the necessary changes.

Then something happened, something as insignificant as burning your toast in the morning, and that was the end of it. I was finished. I had a Scarlett O'Hara moment and refused to live another day the way things were. That rage propelled me to where I am now: pursuing the writing career I've always desired while surrounded by everything and everyone I care about. It provided me with the adrenaline rush I needed to see things through.

But maybe you're not as tired as I was. Perhaps it's fear that's holding you back: The fear of failing. Fear of achieving success. Apprehension about disappointing others. Whatever your fear is, in the game of life's rock-paper-scissors, anger always wins. It will productively push you to where you want to go, but you must allow it to do so.

Take charge of your rage. Don't let it possess you.

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You have heard it all before: "Live life to the fullest", "follow your dreams", "be who you are" and "if it is meant to be, it will be". These are all wonderful quotes that are meant to help you live a happy life but they miss the point. Our lives are interconnected with each other and with the world.

No matter how hard you think you try, there’s always going to be a certain level of stress in your life. And when stress gets out of hand, it can start to negatively affect your life. But this doesn’t have to be the case. There are some easy steps you can take to improve your life in the long run, and we’ve found a few that can help you enjoy a better life and get rid of stress.

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