Letting Go of Resentment (The Ultimate Guide + Image Quotes)

“When was the last time I truly felt overwhelmed with happiness, freedom, and gratitude?” ask yourself honestly. ” If you can't remember, you may be harboring resentments.

Many of us find ourselves helplessly oscillating between anger and fear when dealing with other people. We are constantly looking for quick fixes to alleviate moments of rage and anxious thoughts. However, these “solutions” are usually nothing more than band-aids that allow us to get through another day. Meanwhile, the root of the problem continues to fester and worsen to the point where we can no longer bear to look at it.

This post may contain some affiliate links to products that I use and love. If you click through and make a purchase, I’ll earn a commission, at no additional cost to you. Read my full disclosure here.

But what if you discovered a permanent, long-term way to feel less angry and fearful and regain control of your emotions?

It's known as letting go of resentment

It works like this: resentment, anger, and fear are all linked. We become trapped in a self-obsessed cycle of fear of the future, rage in the present, and resentment toward our past. Faith is an antidote to fear, love is an antidote to anger, and acceptance is an antidote to resentment.

This may sound familiar if you're a member of a 12-step program, but it can be applied to anyone's life.

But first, let us try to define resentment. What Is Resentment?

He was not the first to say this, but it is still a powerful way to understand resentment.

In psychology, resentment occurs when a person has persistently negative feelings toward another person or place as a result of a real or imagined injustice.

(((Instant Book Preview of The Forgiving Life)))

One of the reasons resentments are so difficult to overcome is that there is so much bad advice out there on how to deal with them. Exasperated friends may advise you to “just get over it already.” Therapists may advise us to “let it go.” Others may advise us to “forget about it” or, even more inconveniently, “the past is the past.” Excuse me, what does any of that generic advice even mean?

I can assure you that you should not do the following with resentments: Ignore them Fight through them “Lock them in a closet” Pretend you don't feel them Try and forget them Instead, do the following: Face them Feel them Deal with them Heal from them “Fake it till you make it” does not work when it comes to deep-seated feelings we have about certain people or situations However, dealing with them is far easier said than done.

How to Accept What Has Happened in the Past Before you begin the process of overcoming resentments, you should be aware of the following: It is a process.

  • It's possible that things will get worse before they get better.
  • It necessitates a great deal of openness and willingness.

Resentments are negative emotions that you may have carried for years. They may have done significant damage to your ability to interact with the outside world during this time.

I know it sounds dramatic, but these are frequently serious, deep-seated problems. Expect to be unable to say a chant and—poof! They've vanished. You should be aware that you are about to embark on a long and possibly painful journey, but the end result will be well worth it.

4 Steps to Let Go of Resentment Okay, here are the four steps to letting go of resentment: Step 1: Make a list of all the people you have resentments against. If you are honest, the list should be quite long.

(((Instant Book Preview of Choosing Forgiveness)))

Include ANYTHING that automatically makes you feel bad. You can also include places and institutions (such as a school you attended or an airport where you had a bad experience); nothing is too trivial or insignificant.

Step 2: Write what they did to make you resent them next to their name. Nothing is too small. If you dislike your boss, it could be because they give you unreasonable deadlines or simply because you don't like their hair.

The source of the resentment does not have to “make sense”; it simply has to be truthful. This is where things will become difficult, and you will feel worse than you did before you began. Try to believe that the end result will be worthwhile—because it will!

Step 3: Now write down which aspects of your life each resentment affects. For example, if you resent an old teacher who made you feel inferior, you might write that it affects your self-esteem or confidence.

The goal is to become acutely aware of the specific ways in which your resentment affects your identity and your ability to feel safe, secure, and loved.

Step 4: Next to the reason or cause for resentment, write down your contribution. This is how YOU contributed to the problem.

(((Instant Book Preview of The Forgiving Self)))

Returning to our boss example, you've established that you resent your boss, specifically because of unreasonable deadlines. One of your contributions to the problem could be that you never spoke up and asked for less work.

This is where sincerity and willingness come into play. You must be truthful about your role and willing to admit it. Otherwise, you risk becoming stuck.

Now, read Final Thoughts from left to right. You should be able to form a clear picture of who you resent, why you resent them, how it negatively affects your life, and what role you played in it all.

Understanding your resentments and breaking them down will hopefully help you transition from someone who lives in a generalized cycle of resentment, fear, and anger to someone who can identify the source of their feelings and target specific areas they want to work on.

The goal of this writing assignment is to experience freedom by releasing secrets, fears, and lies that we have been harboring and getting these issues out of our heads and onto paper.

It is up to you what you do with the paper after that. Some people choose to share it with a trusted friend, while others choose to burn it as a symbolic act of surrendering those feelings.

(((Instant Book Preview of Quieting Resentment)))

This is a tried-and-true method based on the 12-step program model that literally ANYONE can follow. Unlike expensive therapy, this will only cost you the cost of a pen and paper. What have you got to lose?

Related Posts

How to Be Happy No Matter What: We all want to be happy. It's in our nature. It's in our DNA to want to be happy. We can't help it! Throughout life, we all experience ups and downs, good times and bad. And when we experience the downs, it's important to remind ourselves that there are ways to find our happiness, no matter what! To be happy, you must find your inner light. This means not only embracing the good, but also looking at the negative. You must examine your lifes experiences and learn to accept them. If you can learn to let go of the negative things that have happened in your life, you will be able to focus on the positive! And when you can do that, you will be able to experience happiness in your life! So, the next time you feel down, don't worry! You can be happy! Read more.

B Student: B Student is a guide for college students who want to improve their academic performance and succeed in their classes and beyond. I've taken and taught many college courses and done a lot of research on the methods and strategies that make a huge impact on grades. Now it's time to share them with you! B Student has all the information you need to achieve academic success and achieve your goals. Whether you want to get good grades to get into a prestigious graduate school (MBA) or simply start earning more money at your job, we'll provide you the tips and tools that'll help you succeed! Read more.

Feeling Out of Place: When you're out in public and don't know anyone, it can feel really awkward. Everyone is looking at you, trying to pinpoint why you're there and why you look so different from everyone else. You don't know a single person and, by the looks of it, no one else does either. It's a tense, uncomfortable feeling. It's a lonely feeling. But instead of letting this feeling make you feel even more lonely, focus on the positives. You've been given the opportunity to meet new people and start over, to reinvent yourself as someone who can fit into any crowd! You can choose to let the "outsider" status be a good thing. Read more.

Mental Energies: Eating your vegetables will help your body get the needed vitamins, minerals and nutrients to keep your mind active and alert. It's important to get all of the nutrients and vitamins and minerals your body needs. By eating a variety of vegetable, fruits and grains, you're more likely to introduce different nutrients into your body and get your body the energy it needs to be alert and mentally focused. Read more.

Lacking Attention to Detail: Of course, a lack of attention to detail can be a problem in both work and social situations, because nobody likes to deal with a careless person. Demonstrate a high level of attention to detail. When you're at work, you'll be able to catch mistakes that could affect the final outcome of the project, and as a result, be seen as an excellent team member. When you're in social situations, you'll be able to let people know that you're interested in them and you're not just biding time before moving on to the next person. Read more.

↓Free Ebook↓

You have heard it all before: "Live life to the fullest", "follow your dreams", "be who you are" and "if it is meant to be, it will be". These are all wonderful quotes that are meant to help you live a happy life but they miss the point. Our lives are interconnected with each other and with the world.

No matter how hard you think you try, there’s always going to be a certain level of stress in your life. And when stress gets out of hand, it can start to negatively affect your life. But this doesn’t have to be the case. There are some easy steps you can take to improve your life in the long run, and we’ve found a few that can help you enjoy a better life and get rid of stress.

Free Ebook