My Husband Hates Me (The Ultimate Guide + Image Quotes)

When you married, I'm sure you never imagined in a million years asking yourself, “What if my husband hates me?” ”

Obviously not.

People expect their spouse to love them, treat them well, be their best friend, and live happily ever after when they walk down the aisle. Then, one day (like today), you find yourself looking for a solution to a problem you had no idea existed.

But how did you end up here?

What Causes Resentment and Hatred in a Relationship?
How did this happen? While every couple is different, there are some things that can cause a lot of resentment (and even hatred) in a marriage. Let us look at a few of them.

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When someone marries, many people, especially men, think, “Ahhhh…I'm married! I don't have to work on this relationship any longer! ”

In other words, they become sluggish.

When you're dating, men are more likely to do the chasing. It's just biologically wired into some people. However, once they believe they “have you,” all of their efforts seem to vanish.

But just because a lot of men are neglectful doesn't mean you haven't neglected your husband as well. It could be in any aspect of your relationship – sex, love, attention, friendship, etc. Examine your actions to see if you have neglected him in any way.


When people become lazy and neglectful in a marriage, it is often due to selfishness. And selfishness does not work in a marriage.

Relationships require both parties to participate. It is impossible for one person to do all of the giving while the other person does all of the taking. If this is the case, it creates a dangerous imbalance between the two people.

When one person is selfish, resentment grows on the part of the other. Nobody enjoys being a doormat and being taken advantage of.


Cheating used to be fairly straightforward. In other words, you either cheated or you didn't. However, in this day and age, there is a lot of gray area when it comes to cheating, and it isn't just physical cheating.

Sure, when it comes to defining it, sexual cheating is at the top of most people's lists. However, emotional infidelity can be just as damaging to a marriage as physical infidelity, if not more so.

Cheating erodes trust, whether it happens gradually over time or as if a bomb is dropped. In either case, it has the potential to foster long-term resentment, if not hatred.


Abuse can also take many different forms. Yes, if someone hits you, it is clearly abuse. However, it is not necessary to have a black eye or a broken bone for something to be considered abuse.

Abuse occurs when someone calls you names, criticizes you, or tells you negative things about


Abuse will almost always result in resentment and hatred in a marriage.

How to Determine If Your Spouse Dislikes You
Now that we've covered some of the factors that can lead to resentment and hatred in a marriage, let's take a look at some of the warning signs that your spouse may despise you.

1. You are constantly fighting

Disagreements and conflict aren't always bad in a relationship. It is unrealistic to expect two people to get along and agree on everything.

However, fighting unfairly and frequently is always a bad thing. For example, if one or both of you feel the need to fight in order to win an argument and be “right,” that is a very unhealthy way to be in a relationship. If fighting is the foundation of your marriage, it is a sign that one (or both) of you despises the other.

2. He hardly ever makes an effort in the marriage

Neglect is closely related to this. If he isn't putting forth any effort in the marriage, he is neglecting you. It could be because he “hates” you, but it could also be because he “dislikes” you.

He should be nice to you, keep your friendship, be romantic, and a good partner. However, if you feel like he's just your roommate (and possibly not even a friendly one), that's not a good sign. He may be on the verge of giving up – or has already done so.

3. You don't have a lot of sex (If at All)

Physical intimacy distinguishes a friendship from a romantic relationship/marriage. That may seem obvious, but many people find themselves in loveless, sexless marriages.

So, if you can't remember the last time the two of you touched each other other than to hand them something in the kitchen, your marriage's intimacy is most likely gone. When people are married to someone they no longer like, they will not want to have sex with them.

4. He is oblivious to your existence

No one should take anyone for granted in an ideal world. However, it appears to happen on a regular basis.

It's sometimes just human nature. We become accustomed to the status quo and expect things to remain constant. But, if you think about it, anything or anyone can be taken away from us at any time. So, if you feel used and unappreciated, it could be a sign that he resents or even despises you.

5. You suspect he's been unfaithful to you

When a person is resentful of their spouse, they are more likely to look elsewhere if given the opportunity. Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying this is acceptable. In fact, it isn't. Turning away from the marriage does nothing to improve it and only serves to destroy it.

However, if your spouse harbors resentment toward you, it will be easier for them to justify their cheating. If they no longer love you, they are unlikely to feel as guilty as they would if they did.

6. He is abusive mentally, emotionally, and/or physically

Abuse is NEVER acceptable. Never, ever, ever. No one deserves to be abused, no matter how horrible you were to someone.

It does, however, happen. A mentally ill person is more likely to become an abuser. They became that way for a variety of reasons in their past that may or may not be related to you. You could be a part of it, but if you're being abused, it could mean that, among other things, he resents you for something. But that doesn't make it any better.

What to Do If You Believe Your Husband Despises You

If, after reading all of this, you still believe your spouse despises you, there are a few things you can try. Remember that returning from the brink of hatred is not easy. It is possible, but it will take a lot of effort from both parties.

1. Determine if you want to make it work (or Not)

If you truly believe that your husband despises you, you need to have a long talk with yourself. Do you even want to be here? Why would you want to stay in a marriage where there is nothing but hatred? Before you make any other decisions, figure out what you want.

2. Speak with Him

You may have not had a genuine, honest, or healthy conversation with him in years. And perhaps you've never really discussed the state of your marriage. But if you want to save your marriage, you need to talk about it. It won't be easy if he harbors such resentment toward you, but you must do it.

3. Make a Strategy

After you've spoken with him, devise a strategy. Depending on how the conversation progressed, one of two things most likely occurred. He either stated that he wants to try to work it out or that he does not. If he does not, the decision will be made for you. But if he does, you must seek assistance.

4. Seek professional help

Many people, particularly men, believe that seeing a therapist is a sign of weakness. However, this is not the case. Strong people seek assistance! So, try to persuade him to seek professional help. If you can afford it, it's probably best if you get both individual and couples counseling.

5. If Divorce Is Necessary

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, a marriage simply cannot be saved. It's sad, but it's sometimes better to just move on with your lives separately than to stay in a hate-filled marriage. That way, you and your partner can begin a new life filled with love and happiness.

Final Thoughts

Nobody wants to be in a bad marriage. That is not the intention of the institution of marriage. So, I hope you will make the decision to prioritize your happiness because when you are happy, the rest of your life will follow suit. It's not selfish; it's self-love, and it's where happiness and contentment begin.

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