My Next Relationship Will Be My Last (The Ultimate Guide + Image Quotes)

After my previous relationship ended, I made a promise to myself that I would not enter another relationship until I had learned to love myself. Another vow arose as a result of this: my next relationship will be my last. I assure you that this isn't as depressing as it sounds!

During my previous relationship, I found myself changing into someone I didn't like. The pressure of how a relationship was ‘supposed' to be overwhelmed me, and I began to resist. I didn't realize that was what it was at the time. My mood completely shifted. I found it difficult to get out of bed, I found everything boring, I became easily envious, my normally laid-back personality became one of extreme uptightness, and I was extremely quick to anger. Most importantly, I discovered that I despised myself, which threw me for a loop. When you're in a relationship, you're supposed to be happy and love everything about the world and yourself, right? I didn't, and it scared me. How could I possibly make a relationship work if I despised myself? I became completely disoriented and overwhelmed. I responded by pressing the relationship's self-destruct button. In my mind, I didn't want to be responsible for breaking someone's heart, so I would push my partner further and further away until he ended the relationship. Although I was subconsciously pushing the relationship to end, it still came as a surprise when it did. I was devastated.

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After I had shed all of my tears, I began to consider why it had ended. It was a little easier for me to deal with the breakup because I've always had a spiritual outlook. But only a smidgeononononononononononononon There were so many coincidences surrounding the timing of the breakup that I knew it was meant to happen and that I needed to examine my behavior more closely. It was time for me to accept responsibility for my part in the relationship.

It was difficult to be completely honest with myself and admit that I thought I was a terrible person to be around because I wanted everything my way ALL THE TIME and found it difficult to compromise. It was extremely difficult for me to admit that I had control issues. I had always thought of myself as laid-back, so discovering that I liked to control everything and everyone came as a surprise. If I could control everything, I wouldn't get hurt and the outcome would be predictable. I knew what I was in for.

Following much self-reflection, here are the reasons why I've decided that my next relationship will not fail

1. It will not fail because I am aware that my insecurities stem from fear

Fear underpins any insecurities that arise during a relationship. Whether it's a fear of not being loved, of being abandoned, or of being hurt. All of my fears in my previous relationship stemmed from all three of these, and now that I know this, I'll be better prepared to discuss these fears with my partner in my next relationship.

2. It will not fail because I am more mindful of myself and my motivations

I've become a lot more relaxed. I'm willing to make concessions because I understand that a relationship requires two people to collaborate. I now understand that a relationship works because of the people involved, not because of unspoken rules imposed by society. Instead of constantly focusing on and worrying about what I need and whether those needs will be met, I consider what other people may require.

3. It will not fail because I am no longer a control freak

Well, not entirely, but I'm a lot better than I was! I understand that I have no control over the outcome of anything. I've learned to let go of trying to control everything. It's a waste of energy, especially when I could be enjoying the present moment rather than worrying about something that hasn't even happened yet. We're taught that relationships are supposed to work a certain way, and that if they don't, we've failed. But what many people fail to tell us as we grow older is that there are no surefire ways to have a successful relationship. People are unique, and as a result, each relationship is unique.

4. It will not fail because I know what I want from myself and who I want to be in a relationship

I've realized that I am who I am. When it comes to relationships, I shouldn't be changing myself to meet the expectations of others. I may experience brief relapses as the relationship progresses, but I'm now a person who expresses her feelings and isn't afraid to be vulnerable.

5. It will succeed because I am learning to love myself

Being in a relationship requires a lot of self-love as well as giving it to another person. My self-esteem was extremely low in my previous relationship, and it was difficult to recover from that, but I did. And if I can do it, you can certainly do it!

6. It will not fail because I can never truly ‘fail' at anything, and I don't believe any relationship ever ‘fails

I believe that we are all maturing as people, and that as we mature, so will our expectations of ourselves and our lives. Each ‘failed' relationship teaches us something new about ourselves. For starters, we learn how to deal with heartbreak. We discover which aspects of ourselves need to be improved. It is a voyage of self-discovery. When my previous relationship ended, I saw it as an opportunity to learn more about my “dark side.” According to Paul Hudson's article, “…if you've never had your heart broken, you haven't yet seen both the brightest and darkest sides of your being.”

When we enter into a relationship, we do so with the intention of both giving and receiving love. Sometimes we become so afraid of not receiving that love that we act rashly and begin to see signs of unlove everywhere. We make up scenarios that don't exist, we read too much into simple phrases like “I'll be home later than I thought,” and it's all fueled by fear. When we realize this, we are finally able to break free from victim mode. We reclaim our personal power and say, “You know what, that relationship may not have worked out, but it made me a better person.” Relationships are beautiful whether they go well or poorly. It's a fantastic opportunity to grow as a person, to discover what motivates you to give and receive love; you gain the confidence to say, “I deserve love,” with unwavering conviction.

We've come out the other side with a renewed sense of who we are, thanks to our past selves. Instead of being ashamed of who I was in my previous relationship, I chose to embrace that person, learn what I needed to learn, and then grow into the person I want to be. If I can learn to love myself and actually ALLOW myself to do so, you can as well.

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You have heard it all before: "Live life to the fullest", "follow your dreams", "be who you are" and "if it is meant to be, it will be". These are all wonderful quotes that are meant to help you live a happy life but they miss the point. Our lives are interconnected with each other and with the world.

No matter how hard you think you try, there’s always going to be a certain level of stress in your life. And when stress gets out of hand, it can start to negatively affect your life. But this doesn’t have to be the case. There are some easy steps you can take to improve your life in the long run, and we’ve found a few that can help you enjoy a better life and get rid of stress.

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