I was known as the “quiet, nerdy kid” when I was younger. I didn't speak much at meals, school, or social gatherings.
People frequently assumed I was anti-social or lacked presentation skills. When we first met, some of my friends had the impression that I despised them. They assumed I didn't want to befriend them because I didn't talk (and with my RBF).
Or there were times when I didn't participate in conversations and people assumed I was silently judging everyone, when in fact I was thinking and absorbing what everyone had to say.
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If you are quiet, I'm sure you are constantly assumed to be shy, impolite, timid, or even arrogant. I understand. Most quiet people, however, do not fit into these assumptions, and the reason for these misconceptions and misunderstandings is that we communicate in a different way.
When it comes to communication, there is no such thing as right or wrong, and I believe it is past time to let everyone know how we as quiet people act and think.
- We are quiet in person but talkative in our heads.
- When we don't say anything, it does not imply that our minds are blank.
“Quiet people have the loudest minds,” Stephen Hawking once said. True, we keep a lot of deep thoughts in our heads, but we also keep sarcastic comments and jokes in our heads.
We are typically thinkers, and frequently overthinkers. We have internal conversations to help us think, plan, evaluate, and execute our ideas before we say them aloud or take action.
We obtain information in a variety of ways
While some people learn about others by interacting with them and exchanging information in conversations, we prefer to observe others and everything that is going on around us.
My father once taught me the skill of observing. He believes that observing a person's appearance and mannerisms can reveal a lot about them.
Assume you meet a new person. What they are wearing, their body language, and eye contact can all give you a good idea of who they are.
Of course, sometimes just observing isn't enough; quiet people do strike up conversations when we're curious about someone.
We aren't necessarily timid
The general rule is that the more you speak, the more assured you sound. And some people stereotype all quiet people as lacking confidence or being afraid to present themselves. However, some quiet people are not afraid of the spotlight and are also sociable. Speaking to us is a choice rather than a requirement in social situations. We don't mind sharing our thoughts, ideas, and experiences.
We don't despise you because we're quiet
The simplest way to tell the other person you want to develop a relationship is to speak to them. But just because we aren't as chatty as others doesn't mean we're rude or cold. There are still numerous ways and channels through which we can express our love for our loved ones.
Everyone has a different interpretation of what it means to be “neutral.” Some people believe they must smile and ask, “How are you?” to convey the message, “We're fine.” However, for others, such as quiet people, we believe that indicating “everyone is fine as it was an hour ago” is equivalent to doing nothing. Quiet people are perceived as cold or mean in this sense because we express the same message in different ways.
We take public speaking very seriously
We believe that we must think carefully before saying anything, because far too often, something is said at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and to the wrong person.
Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying that people who talk a lot don't think before they speak. I like it when talkative people tell their stories and fill the room with their presence. Just that we have different ideas about what speaking entails.
It is not about assisting a quiet person, but rather about understanding.
Others occasionally want to “help” me (with good intentions) in sharing sessions. They believe I have stage fright, can't think of anything to say, or have difficulty disclosing personal information. These assumptions may be true for some quiet people, but I don't find it difficult to express myself.
I hope this article has given you a better understanding of quiet people, and I'm sure you've gained a better understanding of how you or others think!
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