Romantic Rejection (The Ultimate Guide + Image Quotes)

Every one of us has been there. You thought you did so well in a big interview, only to be told they've found a better fit. It was a heartbreaking breakup. Our big project request was denied by the boss. Why does hearing the word “no” hurt so much? Is there anything we can do about it, for that matter?

Rejection causes self-inflicted pain

You know what I'm talking about: beating yourself up after being dumped or rejected. It's bad enough that our brains are hardwired to experience pain when we are rejected. Scientists put people in functional MRI machines and asked them to recall a recent rejection, and what they discovered was remarkable. It stimulated the same parts of our brain that physical pain does! That's right, rejection causes physical pain. Sure, it's emotional pain, but it's frequently the worst kind.

This post may contain some affiliate links to products that I use and love. If you click through and make a purchase, I’ll earn a commission, at no additional cost to you. Read my full disclosure here.

Why does our brain torture us like this? Scientists believe it dates back to our hunter-gatherer ancestors. Back then, if your people rejected you, you died. You couldn't survive on your own; you needed the people who were closest to you. This is probably also why most people have a “herd” mentality and prefer to follow the herd rather than take charge of their lives and actions.

Of course, rejection causes more than just emotional distress. It lowers our self-esteem, causes us to be angry or sad, and throws us off track from feeling stable in our lives. But there is something you should be aware of. The vast majority of these side effects are self-inflicted. We make fun of ourselves, tell ourselves we're not good enough, and are generally disgusted with ourselves. That does not have to be the case!

Make the most of your pain

Legends are often born in times of extreme emotional pain. Take, for example, Anna Wintour. Anna is one of the world's most well-known and successful magazine editors. But it wasn't always like this. She was fired from her position as a junior fashion editor at Harper's Bazaar long before she rose to fame. They should have known who they were firing!

She, on the other hand, did not let this rejection define her. In fact, she now openly declares, “Everyone should be fired at least once in their career because ‘perfection' does not exist.” Here's a secret: If we let it, rejection can strengthen our mentality and contribute to our future success. Anna used the pain of rejection to motivate herself to accomplish more in her life. Countless others, including Tony Robbins (author, investor, and philanthropist), Howard Schultz (CEO of Starbucks), and Steve Jobs, have done the same (founder of Apple).

Each of them has overcome the agony of rejection and used it to fuel their desire for a better life. You can do the same thing.

3 Mindset Modifications to Overcome Rejection

“That's fantastic for those people,” you're probably thinking. However, I am not Anna Wintour or Tony Robbins. “How am I supposed to do what they did?”

In a single word, strategies.

There are tried-and-true methods for shifting your mindset and changing your outlook. Here are three you can use right now:

1. You must have no tolerance for self-criticism

The first thing that comes to mind after a rejection is probably, “I'm such a loser/idiot/insert explicit word here.” You must put a stop to this. Currently. Most rejections, whether romantic, professional, or social, are the result of circumstance and have nothing to do with you.

Perhaps your partner isn't ready for a serious relationship and needs to learn more about themselves (which everyone should do, by the way). Perhaps the company for which you applied required someone with a skill that you lacked at the time. Even if it is your fault, berating yourself will not make things better. By all means, examine the situation and consider why it occurred. But don't use “I'm a loser” as an excuse. You can be more constructive than that.

Consider statements like, “I need to learn a specific skill for this job first,” or “I should give my partner the space they require and take some time to learn more about myself.” The bottom line is that you should not tolerate self-criticism. Period.

Remove it from your list of things you're willing to accept as a part of your life. If you have these thoughts, tell yourself, “These thoughts are self-destructive.” Instead, I should consider something constructive I can do to avoid being rejected again. Rejection will be viewed as an opportunity to learn rather than a failure on my part.

2. Increase your self-esteem

The best way to overcome the agony of rejection is to believe that you are important. In other words, you must boost your sense of self-worth. Stop what you're doing and try this simple exercise: Make a list of five things you like about yourself. Things that make you a good relationship partner (for example, being supportive or emotionally available), a good friend (for example, being loyal or a good listener), or a good employee (e.g., you are responsible or have a strong work ethic).

Next, choose one of those five qualities and write (physically write, not just say it in your head) one or two paragraphs about why that quality is important and how you could apply it in a situation similar to the rejection you just experienced.

3. Make an effort to improve your social connections

People are social beings. We are hardwired to seek out social interaction. The reasoning is most likely derived from our time as hunters and gatherers. Whatever the reason, a lack of these social connections is bound to spread like a virus to everything in our lives. It can deplete our physical and emotional well-being, as well as make us less productive.

Rejection undermines our sense of belonging and, as a result, dampens our sense of social connections. We must take action to repair the damage. When your crush does not return your calls or you have recently been fired from your job, call a friend or family member and remember that your voice alone can bring happiness to others. We all have family members we haven't spoken to in a long time; now is a good time to call them and catch up.

It's a win-win situation: you'll bring them a pleasant surprise, and they'll boost your sense of social connection and importance.

Remember that rejection can be excruciatingly painful, but the majority of it is self-inflicted. Taking action is the best way to overcome this pain! Now is the time to act. Make a list, call a family member, apply for more jobs – whatever it takes. Just don't wallow in self-pity and self-criticism. You are significant. You are cherished. You are important.

Related Posts

Can't Make Up My Mind: I spend so much time here in the forums - I feel like I've become somewhat of an expert in many areas. I often help people in the help center! I don't know much about cars, but I'm learning. I've also helped people out in the financial forums. I'm not really much of a sports fan, but I do like to watch baseball. My favorite hobby is collecting antique books. I'm also trying to learn how to play the piano. Read more.

Straight Forward People: We are all different people with strong personalities. Sometimes strong personalities clash and this can lead to disagreement. It's important to be able to resolve your disagreements in a proactive manner. If it's impossible to be resolved, then you should move along and try to work with someone else. Remember that at the end of the day, you're all in this together. The success in the long run relies on the team in totality. Content for this article in 2000 words: Read more.

How to Get Through Life: Life can be difficult! Sometimes it seems that the world only wants to bring you down and crush all your hopes and dreams. When things get tough, it's important to rely on your friends and loved ones. Your friends and loved ones will always be there for you when you need help. They'll help you out of tough situations and they'll also help to cheer you up when you're feeling blue. And if all else fails and you still can't get through life, all you need to do is ask for help and find someone who is willing to lend a hand! Read more.

How to Be Fearless: If you have a goal that's important to you, then you have to have the courage to pursue it. It will take some time, perseverance, and courage, but you can get to where you want to be if you keep trying. The first thing you have to do is put the thought of being afraid on hold. You have to have self-confidence, especially if you are trying to achieve something that may seem to be out of your league. There are practical actions you can take to get to your goal. Don't be afraid to try out any of the things that can get you where you want to be. Take the first step toward the goal that's important to you. Read more.

Selfish Friends: A new study showed that over thirty percent of people would throw their friends under the bus to get ahead. This is surprising, because usually friends stick together. Not only that, but you can never truly trust someone who would throw their friend under the bus. I know I would trust someone less if they would throw their friends under the bus. If they can't stick up for their friends, they can't stick up for anyone. Read more.

↓Free Ebook↓

You have heard it all before: "Live life to the fullest", "follow your dreams", "be who you are" and "if it is meant to be, it will be". These are all wonderful quotes that are meant to help you live a happy life but they miss the point. Our lives are interconnected with each other and with the world.

No matter how hard you think you try, there’s always going to be a certain level of stress in your life. And when stress gets out of hand, it can start to negatively affect your life. But this doesn’t have to be the case. There are some easy steps you can take to improve your life in the long run, and we’ve found a few that can help you enjoy a better life and get rid of stress.

Free Ebook