One of the most true quotes I've ever heard goes, “having a child is like having your heart pulled out of your body and then watching it try to navigate life on its own.” In many ways, this is one of life's most difficult lessons, because children, especially younger ones, are so vulnerable, and it is human nature to want to protect them. It is our most important responsibility.
Parenthood can be a long, lonely road at times, and even the most capable parent may doubt their abilities. However, wanting to protect a child is usually a sign of good parenting instincts. The question is how to go about doing it.
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Family conflicts have a variety of causes, but their consequences are disastrous.
1. Financial concerns
2. The dynamics of the family, illness, or death
Another underlying issue is simple family dynamics, in which personalities become highly incompatible and attempts at conflict resolution fail because parents lack the ability and desire to deal with their mate's daily problems or issues. This can be triggered by the death of a close family member or child, or the onset of a partner's illness, which overwhelms and polarizes the other partner. Love has been forgotten.
3. Abuse of substances or of one's body
Families dealing with alcohol and substance abuse issues face excruciatingly difficult situations on a daily basis, with fear, and sometimes outright terror, being the daily special.
Children suffer long-term consequences as a result of family conflicts.
1. They are terrified
Whatever the case, what follows is usually a sort of unraveling of something beloved and the safest thing a child knows, right in front of their eyes. This can make a child feel scared and insecure, as well as angry and resentful.
2. They feel remorse
They may begin to blame themselves for their parents' problems, or they may begin to engage in escapism behaviors such as drug or alcohol abuse.
3. They are raised in a dysfunctional family
Because one or both parents are preoccupied with their own issues, dysfunction can manifest in lax parenting in some cases.
4. They do not understand how to respect others
When it comes to exemplifying how to set and respect personal boundaries of others, inconsistency in parenting styles can lead to doubt and lack of clarity – children have a tendency to follow a parent's example.
5. They could be suffering from a mental illness
In other cases, the child's general dysfunction may manifest itself in depression, anxiety disorders, or other forms of mental health issues.
Try to keep the children strong during difficult times
Whatever the conflict and whatever issues parents are dealing with, it is possible to keep your children from being harmed by them.
1. Establish a secure environment
The first priority is to keep them from being physically harmed, which means providing or maintaining a roof over their heads by any means necessary, whether it's moving in with the kids, making the current situation work, or moving to a shelter if the first two options are not viable.
2. Enlist the assistance of people you trust
If possible, a family member could offer assistance in the form of voluntary childcare, lending money, guidance, or shelter. They may also be able to assist in the initiation of outside assistance from sources such as shelters, medical care, or legal representation.
3. Try not to overthink things
Relax if the decision is to remain in the conflicting situation. It is critical to remind yourself that there is conflict all the time. While children are vulnerable, they can be incredibly resilient if they know they are loved and safe.
4. Show your children that you care
Tell your children how much you love them and show it to them on a regular basis through love and acts of kindness. You are instilling in them the values of love and generosity. Remind your children on a regular basis that you will keep them safe from harm, and then do so.
5. Set a good example
Show your children that you respect other people's boundaries by being respectful yourself. Do your best to set a good emotional example for your children, as this is generally what they will do.
6. Instill self-discipline in your children
If your children misbehave, express your displeasure and make it clear that you expect better from them the next time. It is critical to remind your child about empathy and the golden rule, as well as to explain why something is wrong if they do not understand why it is wrong.
7. Teach your children what you know
It is important to remember that family conflicts do occur and can put even the strongest family bonds to the test. What is important is how this conflict is resolved. Whether you are dealing with money problems, relationship problems, or a death in the family, the goal is to strike a balance between making your children feel empowered and secure while also raising responsible, empathic, and productive members of society capable of forming functional, happy relationships with others.
Love is the most beautiful of all of life's crazy lessons.
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