Security in a Relationship (The Ultimate Guide + Image Quotes)

People who are insecure in their relationships frequently act irrationally. They've texted their partner a million times in a row. Or calling to check in on a regular basis. Perhaps they try to keep tabs on their partner's whereabouts, even checking their email or Facebook messages when they can. Perhaps you've had this experience, either as the insecure one or as the person dating the insecure one. Perhaps you've been both, in different relationships.

Even if these aren't the healthiest signs of a relationship, these behaviors are commonly used to make people feel more secure in a relationship. They feel better after receiving a response from their partner via text, Facebook, or phone call.

This post may contain some affiliate links to products that I use and love. If you click through and make a purchase, I’ll earn a commission, at no additional cost to you. Read my full disclosure here.

The problem is that people develop a habit of repeating these actions in order to remain secure. These seemingly insignificant actions can have a negative impact on a relationship. Some people may be irritated by their partners' constant monitoring of them. Some may believe that there is a deep trust issue that has yet to be resolved.

The Source of Uncertainty

Consider a world in which everyone carries a certain amount of fuel in their hands. Simultaneously, a fire is lit in their heart, and that fire requires constant fueling to survive.

Every single person will find their compatible partner, someone who can provide the fuel to keep the other's fire burning.

It is not always a smooth exchange of fuel. Individuals seek out others, such as family members or friends, to keep their fires lit and burning.

(((Instant Book Preview of The Circle of Security Intervention)))

However, many times, people refuse to provide them with fuel.

These people could be their parents, who did not pay them enough attention when they were children. Childhood development is heavily reliant on a child's ability to form a strong bond with a caregiver. It is critical for babies and children to attach to a caregiver in order to survive. If children are not given adequate attention by their caregivers, they may grow up feeling insecure and having difficulty trusting others. As a result of being abandoned as a child, they may have doubts about their own worth and a strong fear of being unwanted.

People who made them feel rejected in previous relationships could also be a factor. People feel unwanted when they are rejected or betrayed by a friend or romantic partner. They are hurt and even question their own worth. It can be difficult for them to open up to others and trust others. And if they have difficulty trusting other people, they will inevitably feel insecure in a relationship.

As time passes, their fire grows smaller as they run out of fuel.

When they finally find someone suitable to provide them with fuel, they expect a lot from this partner – sometimes too much.

To ensure a constant supply of fuel, they will do anything: this is when they may begin to check their partner's texts or messages, or call too frequently. Because of what happened in the past, they are unable to trust their partner.

(((Instant Book Preview of Raising a Secure Child)))

However, when they demand so much fuel, it depletes the other person.

As a result, anything done to make oneself feel more secure can irritate or harm the other person. For example, because of insecurity, they may fight a lot over trivial matters. Both will be exhausted, with one requiring a large amount of fuel and the other attempting to meet the high demand at all times.

As you can see, insecurity is not caused by the current relationship or partner. Instead, it stems from an inner fear of being abandoned, unloved, and unvalued. This sensation develops over time.

Where Should You Look for Security?

Insecurity fuels the fire within a person, and the fuel is a way to feel secure.

Waiting for someone else to give you fuel is rife with insecurities. When others refuse to do so, or when their fuel does not work well for you, your fire will grow smaller. When you rely on someone else for your security, you give up all control. This is why you feel insecure when you are rejected, neglected, or betrayed.

Giving yourself the fuel you require is the only way to ensure your own long-term security.

(((Instant Book Preview of Visual Astrology Relationships)))

1. Light Your Own Fire

Perhaps you felt rejected as a child. Alternatively, in a previous relationship, others made you feel unimportant or disrespected you. They did not reflect your self-esteem.

When you are insecure, you are frequently focused on something you believe is lacking about yourself. When you don't feel good about yourself on the inside, it's natural to look outside of yourself for validation.

However, this is not a good way to maintain self-sufficiency. Instead, do something to make yourself feel good and secure, and you will no longer seek validation from outside sources. Get a haircut, enroll in a hobby class, and do what you're good at.

2. Keep your fuel separate from your partner's

Even if you're in a relationship, it's critical to maintain your independence. Any healthy relationship consists of two healthy individuals. Over-involvement in a relationship can result in ill-defined boundaries. You'll have a hazy understanding of your own requirements.

You feel more secure in your life when you are not reliant on your relationship to meet your needs. It is critical to maintain a sense of self-identity and to take care of one's own needs. Maintain your hobbies and passions if you had them prior to your relationship. If you're a runner, for example, keep getting up early and making it a priority in your life. Having your own life outside of a relationship keeps you interesting and allows you to grow.

Everyone has everything they need to feel safe. Most people are unaware of it and seek it from others. However, relying on others to make you feel safe is unhealthy and will deplete a relationship. Do what makes you feel confident and worthy, and stop looking for validation from others, and you'll find the security you've always desired. Make your own fire.

Related Posts

Life Changes Be Ready: Your life will change more than once. Whether it's the death of a loved one, the birth of a child, or another major event, you will change. It doesn't matter how old you are or how experienced you are; these things will happen to you, and you will change. You may think that you can't change or that you're not strong enough to change, but you're wrong. Change is a natural part of life. Things will happen to you that you can't control, but you can control your reactions. For instance, if you have a baby, you'll have to juggle things you never have to have juggled before. It is okay to be scared or worried or happy or any other emotion you have. Life is about change, so welcome it. Read more.

Be Your Own Life Coach: People often need a push to help them out of their ruts and reach for the stars. This is where a personal coach comes in handy. Having a guide or mentor to help you reach your goals can be very important. Most people who know a coach will look to them as a guide and a leader. But you can be your guide! It's a practice called being a Life Coach. First, look at your life and write down any goals you have. Then, figure out what steps you need to take to reach those goals. Pick a date and work backwards to figure out what needs to be done on a day-to-day basis to reach those goals. Once you break down each goal into a step, it will be a lot easier to accomplish them! Just remember, be patient with yourself and don't give up. Read more.

Feeling Defeated: Feeling defeated does not signify that you are weak or that you are not capable enough. It simply means that you are human. It means that you are human enough to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders even if the world isn't on your shoulders. It means you are human enough to want to give up when things are hard. It means you are human enough to cry. It means you are human enough to be exhausted. It means you are human enough to be scared. Read more.

I Am Mad: I am mad! I am mad! I am mad at myself. I need to [insert your challenge here]. I put it off and put it off. Now [insert your challenge here] has gotten out of control. I feel guilty, guilty, guilty. I should have done [insert your challenge here] weeks ago. I am mad! I am mad at myself. I need to [insert your challenge here]. I should have done [insert your challenge here] weeks ago. Now [insert your challenge here] has gotten out of control. I feel guilty, guilty, guilty. I am mad! Read more.

I Don't Have a Lot of Friends: It's perfectly normal to have some minor social problems when you're in school. It might be hard to ask people out to hang out. And it might feel weird to invite others to your house. It's made even harder by the fact that you're in a classroom with people who are more similar to each other than you are. However, it's important to remember that there are people out there who are willing to be friends with you. If you're doing something wrong, you can ask your teacher, your parents, or your friends for advice. Read more.

↓Free Ebook↓

You have heard it all before: "Live life to the fullest", "follow your dreams", "be who you are" and "if it is meant to be, it will be". These are all wonderful quotes that are meant to help you live a happy life but they miss the point. Our lives are interconnected with each other and with the world.

No matter how hard you think you try, there’s always going to be a certain level of stress in your life. And when stress gets out of hand, it can start to negatively affect your life. But this doesn’t have to be the case. There are some easy steps you can take to improve your life in the long run, and we’ve found a few that can help you enjoy a better life and get rid of stress.

Free Ebook