Everyone's life includes relationships. We crave companionship as humans; someone with whom we can share our experiences, someone with whom we can touch and be touched, someone who will listen and someone who can make us laugh. When we first meet someone, everything seems to click and that euphoric feeling that seems to exist only in romantic comedies becomes real life.
However, real life has ups and downs, which can have a negative impact on your relationship. So, how do you tell if the going is tough but better times are on the way, or if the relationship you're in is showing signs of being a bad match? Is there anything your head should be able to see when your heart is invested? The 14 signs listed below should help you determine whether you need to make the difficult decision to end your relationship or if the grey skies will clear.
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1. You do not wish for the same things in your future
It is certainly possible to fall in love in the present moment, which is a wonderful thing. However, it is critical to be able to discuss what you and your significant other want in the coming years. What city do you want to live in? Do you wish to have children? Are you of the same faith, and if not, do you care? If you discover that you have opposing, non-negotiables on which neither of you is willing to compromise, it's time to have an open discussion about whether a prosperous future is realistic.
2. Nothing you do makes your partner happy
If you're doing everything you can to make someone else happy and nothing you do is good enough, you're giving your best to the wrong person. Time, effort, and love should not be overlooked. It is not your fault that others do not recognize how wonderful and generous you are. If you've been in a relationship for a long time, try having an open and honest conversation in which you express that you're doing your best but that your efforts are going unnoticed. Take note of how your companion reacts. Perhaps he/she was just having a selfish moment, and the confrontation will bring him/her back to reality. On the other hand, if you keep trying and communicating but your efforts aren't being reciprocated, it's time to reconsider. You deserve to be happy and to be noticed by your partner. Take a stand for yourself and what you deserve. First and foremost, respect and love yourself! When you are happy and not defeated, you will be a better person to the people in your life.
3. You are constantly insecure
Inherently, we as humans experience insecurity. The people closest to us should be the ones to remind us of our greatness! As a result, if your girlfriend/boyfriend is the source of your insecurity, you are not in a healthy relationship. Take a few moments to make a list of at least five benefits you believe you should receive from a healthy relationship. After that, honestly ask yourself if your current partner is providing you with your list. Keep an eye out for defense mechanisms! Are you making excuses for your girlfriend/boyfriend? It is critical to be honest with yourself in order to determine whether or not your relationship is healthy. Remember that being in a relationship does not define you. Every day, you have the right to feel safe and happy.
4. When you talk about your partner with your friends or family, you find that you have nothing nice to say about her/him
Depending on how long you've been together, the honeymoon period may have passed you by. That said, do you want to be in a relationship where you can't find redeeming qualities to rave about after all these years? If you are constantly speaking negatively about your relationship (possibly without realizing it), this could be a sign that you have grown out of it. Request a reality check from your friends and family. They can tell if you aren't happy anymore. Examine your life; are you happy in your job and at home? Are there any changes in your life that you can influence? Inquire whether the issue is with you or your relationship. Maybe you're not in a good place in your life, or maybe your relationship isn't working anymore. Listen to what you're saying and consider whether your pessimistic remarks are a true reflection of your companion or if the attitude adjustment must come from within.
5. You've been setting deadlines for your relationship to improve, but they keep passing you by
You should not have to set deadlines for your relationship; you should be able to communicate and agree on anything at any time. Setting deadlines causes unwelcome insecurity. By setting a deadline for a decision or action, you create a period of time during which you are unlikely to be living in the present but rather counting down until the zero hour. Life should be about being grateful for the present moment. Of course, having a sense of direction is important, but if we live for a time and an unknown answer, we miss out on the joys of daily ins and outs. Put aside the deadlines and get to the point. Choose happiness today and live your days to the fullest. If you are both focused and happy in the present moment, the future deadline is irrelevant.
6. You are constantly fighting
It should come as no surprise that fighting for weeks on end is not good for your health. Your relationship should be a wonderful part of your life, but it should not be the center of your existence. If simple decisions like what to eat for dinner or what movie to watch turn into fights, it's time to consider what's really going on. Usually, there is a more serious problem. Communication is essential for success. Be mature and talk about your feelings and thoughts calmly. It's not always about what you say, but about how you say it. So, if your relationship is important to both of you, you should be able to have an open and honest conversation without the neighbors wondering if they should call the cops.
7. You're always crying
Something needs to change if you wake up every day with sadness in your heart and tears in your eyes! Make a list of what is bothering you. ‘Why am I so sad?' ask yourself. What is it that is causing me to feel this way? “How can I improve?” If your answers revolve around your relationship, it may be time to choose happiness for yourself. You can only change yourself; you cannot change others. Make the decision to feel good on the inside and to avoid things or people that make you feel bad.
8. Your relationship is having a negative impact on other aspects of your life
Do you notice that you're being less productive at work? Are your friendships and family relationships suffering as a result of this? Is your boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for these problems? A relationship is supposed to lift you up rather than drag you down. Work or friendships should not suffer as a result of your companion. What is more important, how you want to live your life or how others tell you to live it? We don't like it when our parents tell us what to do when we're kids. When you're in an adult relationship, it should be the same. A partner should not have authority over you or your decisions. Furthermore, your significant other should not have a negative impact on how you feel about your life. Remind yourself of the type of relationship you want to have and ask yourself if you are truly living that. Don't let your work suffer as a result of your mood. Negativity breeds negativity. You must find a way to pull yourself out, which may entail starting over without a bad partner.
9. You hardly ever see each other
Long distance relationships work for some people, but if you live in the same area and can't find time to see each other, this may be an issue, especially if only one person is putting in the effort. You should never put time and effort into a relationship if it is not reciprocated. This results in resentment, stress, anxiety, and anguish. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is constantly making excuses for why he or she can't see you, consider whether this relationship is truly a good fit for you. Some people have an agreement with their companion that they only see each other a few times a week; as long as neither person is disappointed, this is fine. If, on the other hand, one person feels neglected, a conversation and re-evaluation are required. Relationships necessitate time, energy, and effort, as well as a mutual desire to spend time together. Make certain that you are the priority that you desire to be.
10. You're Making Out With Someone Else
Some of us are naturally flirtatious, and it really doesn't matter. It's just a joke or a way of expressing oneself. However, if you find yourself flirting and it is out of character for you, consider whether you are lacking attention in your relationship. Is your significant other making you feel special? Or are you looking for other people's attention to fill a void? Have an open discussion with yourself first, and then with your significant other. If you can't be made to feel special, it might be time to upgrade your status.
11. You don't have faith in your partner
Relationships should be built on trust, so if you're wondering if you trust your spouse, chances are you don't. When we don't trust others, we become insecure and eventually drive ourselves insane by creating realities in our heads that may or may not be true. Nobody needs or deserves to spend their days worrying about what their significant other is up to. Not trusting your partner will almost certainly send you into a tailspin and have an impact on other aspects of your life. You deserve to be in an honest and open relationship, so make sure you're getting the information you require.
12. You're Living On An Idea From The Future
There is no better time than the present! If everything in your relationship is based on a concept that has never actually happened, you are not living in the moment and are instead consumed with the possibility of what could be. You may never have that thought, so be content with where you are now. You never know what will happen the next day.
13. You Discover That You Are Lying
It is not acceptable to have to create alternate realities in order to conceal the one you are in. Lies eventually catch up with you, and they invariably seep into other aspects of your life. You should be proud, confident, and secure enough to live your life. You shouldn't have to make up lies and put up a front. If you've noticed yourself lying about your relationship or your partner on a regular basis, consider why. Maybe you're bored, or maybe you're trying to hide your dissatisfaction. Be honest with yourself first, and then with your man/woman. Remember that he or she does not want you to lie!
14. You are always saying, “When X Happens, Everything Will Be Fine
It is not true to believe that buying a house, having a baby, getting engaged, or any other major event will improve your relationship. Stress is caused by major life events. Before you enter a major event, you must have a strong and communicative relationship. Big changes can make everything appear better, but they can also make life much more difficult. Before you can ‘build the house,' you must first lay a solid foundation. We have no control over tomorrow, but we do have control over today. So, instead of assuming that an unknown future is the solution, consider the here and now.
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You have heard it all before: "Live life to the fullest", "follow your dreams", "be who you are" and "if it is meant to be, it will be". These are all wonderful quotes that are meant to help you live a happy life but they miss the point. Our lives are interconnected with each other and with the world.
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