Stop Playing the Victim (The Ultimate Guide + Image Quotes)

It's no coincidence that superhero films consistently outperform at the box office. Year after year, people flock to theaters to watch the villain be defeated by an unlikely superhero while munching on popcorn and drowning out the stresses of the day.

What exactly is the point of the draw?

Perhaps the struggle on-screen represents the same struggle we face every morning when we wake up. The decision to be the victim in our own lives. Will we give in to the seemingly insurmountable obstacles in our path, or will we stand up and fight?

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To be clear, we are confronted with very real challenges. Life isn't a Marvel film. We see loss, grief, pain, and suffering at every turn as COVID-19 sweeps the globe. The political landscape is bleak, families are navigating situations they have never faced before, and there are still all of the additional daily stresses that come with going about life as usual.

Regardless of whether this is our first or third act, it is never too early or too late to decide to be our own hero.

1. Begin by validating yourself—your pain is genuine

The circumstances surrounding our pain have been difficult and have elicited strong emotions. It doesn't help to judge ourselves for our emotions.

“Self-validation is the acceptance of our own internal experience, thoughts, and feelings.” This does not imply that we believe our thoughts or feelings are justified.” However, it does imply that we are allowing ourselves the time to acknowledge, normalize, and decide how to proceed. We take the first step toward owning our process by claiming our feelings.

(((Instant Book Preview of Stop Wasting Your Time Blaming Others for Your Life)))

2. Become Aware of Your Limiting Beliefs

We are aware that we are struggling, but have we unpacked the stories we tell ourselves about why things cannot change? These are usually our limiting beliefs wrapped up in a story. When we play the victim in our lives, we are typically acting out the limiting beliefs we have about ourselves, others, and the world.

“People simply do not like me; I will never fit in; I will never be promoted here; and my boss is a jerk.”

Does this sound familiar? We're all guilty of going to this place when we're frustrated. This is a human part.

We are all predisposed to having a fixed mindset. We can only build a muscle for practicing a growth mindset in our daily lives through practice and persistence. Carol Dweck, a researcher, claims that when we believe we can learn new things, develop, and grow, we excel in new and ever-changing ways.

3. Create an Internal Locus of Control

“A person with an internal locus of control attributes success to his or her own efforts and abilities. A person who expects to succeed will be more motivated to learn.”

When we point the finger at ourselves rather than at the world, we make a case for our own agency. We should no longer wait for things to change. Instead, we should begin actively working to change things.

(((Instant Book Preview of No Complaints)))

4. Experiment with New Habits and Challenge Your Old Habits

Many of us would say, “sure, easier said than done,” and we'd be correct. It takes time and consistency to change our behavior. We can't simply snap our fingers and have an internal locus of control.

We will begin to see change when we identify behaviors that no longer serve us and replace them with new ones that help us assert our power.

For example, if I always say that I am not a good writer and that is why I have never started a blog, I might not be able to sit down and start my own blog right away. Instead, I should begin with a daily commitment to journaling and work my way up to something I am willing to share publicly. Small steps.

5. Look for Ideas Around You

Being a superhero can be exhausting, and we sometimes struggle to find our mojo. Building new habits, changing our mindset, and holding ourselves accountable all require effort.

Enter an uplifting playlist. Find our favorite songs on Spotify and let loose with abandon.

Doesn't that sound ridiculous? It isn't, whether you enjoy laughing with friends, reading inspirational quotes, or spending time alone to recharge. These things are significant! If we want to be a hero for the long haul, we need to keep the momentum going.

(((Instant Book Preview of Radical Responsibility)))

6. Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes

We can't expect perfection, and it's easy to fall back into old habits. You've probably grown accustomed to losing in your own battle for some time. It's all too easy to fall back into the blame game and list all the reasons why you won't be able to do this.

When we notice limiting beliefs creeping in through the cracks, we must act quickly! Allowing yourself to make mistakes allows you to avoid playing the victim.

7. Do Things That Remind You of Your Strength

Go for a long walk, try an online workout or a massage, or do something out of our comfort zone that we've always wanted to try. When we demonstrate to ourselves that we are capable of surprising ourselves, we begin to open the door to what else is possible. Suddenly, the things we've always kept for other people will become ours as well. Plus, Serotonin is beneficial!

8. Exercise Restraint

It's because it's easier to play the victim in the first place. There will be temptations to deviate from your path, such as external influences, old environments, or a desire to simply take a break. What you must do is to resist.

9. Recognize Your Small Victories—Momentum Builds Momentum

Each time we successfully approach the challenges at hand with a commitment to showing up for ourselves, we must take note. Instead of feeling defeated and playing the victim, lift your head and rejoice in your small victories.

Every time you apologize without making excuses, accept an invitation to go somewhere you've never been, or express our hopes without fear of failure. This way, you'll be able to live the life you've always wanted.

(((Instant Book Preview of Black Lies Matter)))

10. Remember that you are on your own timetable

not anyone else's. Comparison is the enemy of progress, so don't get distracted by what others are doing. Maintain contact with your “personal why,” which motivates you to create a life you enjoy. Push forward with renewed zeal, keeping in mind that there may be collateral damage.

Some people will not be ready to see you act differently if you have been a victim your entire life. Don't be concerned. You may have to teach others a new way to be a part of your life. If they aren't interested, try not to take it personally.

11. Establish Your Own Honor System

There will be hiccups in your path, so plan for how you will deal with them without making excuses. Taking ownership entails remaining committed even when it is inconvenient. This also entails accepting responsibility and establishing an honor system.

12. Create the Life You Desire

Let's make a list of everything we want for ourselves. We can go out there and tackle them one at a time if we have some direction.

Do you want to start your own company? Is it time to say good-by to a toxic friend? Looking for a new job with a better work-life balance? When we are committed to our goals, there is no limit to what we can achieve.

You have the skills necessary to make our dreams a reality, but don't rush into it. Take your time and enjoy the ride.

(((Instant Book Preview of A Complaint Free World)))

13. Make the Difficult Decision

Agency is a difficult concept to grasp. Sometimes doing the right thing and doing the difficult thing are the same thing. Only if you want to stop playing the victim, especially when faced with a difficult decision, is there room for righteousness.

14. Keep Your Sense of Humor

Laugh at yourself and at life. Find the humor in everything, and you'll gradually get rid of the victim mentality. The world is filled with chaos, but it isn't the only thing that exists. Keeping your sense of humor allows you to always see the bright side of things.

15. Don't Go Back

You've come this far, and you don't want your efforts to be in vain. Choosing to present yourself differently to the world requires bravery, and you have much to be proud of.

The only certainty in life is that things will always change and that new mountains will always need to be climbed. Let us remember to take our capes with us when we leave the house.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, we have the option of waiting to be rescued or putting one foot in front of the other and doing the best we can with what we have. We will make a mess, and mascara will be smeared. But one day, we'll look back and thank ourselves for every day we got up and tried.

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You have heard it all before: "Live life to the fullest", "follow your dreams", "be who you are" and "if it is meant to be, it will be". These are all wonderful quotes that are meant to help you live a happy life but they miss the point. Our lives are interconnected with each other and with the world.

No matter how hard you think you try, there’s always going to be a certain level of stress in your life. And when stress gets out of hand, it can start to negatively affect your life. But this doesn’t have to be the case. There are some easy steps you can take to improve your life in the long run, and we’ve found a few that can help you enjoy a better life and get rid of stress.

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