We've all been through difficult times. And we all make it through. Some people, however, handle them better than others. So, what's their trick? The majority of it is due to attitude. Here are 13 things to keep in mind when things get tough:
1. What is is, and what isn't isn't
According to Buddha's famous saying, “it is your resistance to ‘what is' that causes your suffering.” Consider that for a moment. It means that our suffering occurs only when we oppose the way things are. Take action if you have the ability to change something! Modify it! But if you can't change it, you have two options: accept it and let go of the negativity, or make yourself miserable by obsessing over it.
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2. It's only a problem if you believe it to be one
We are frequently our own worst enemy. Happiness is largely determined by one's point of view. If you believe there is a problem, your thoughts and emotions will be negative. But if you think it's something you can learn from, it's no longer a problem.
3. If you want things to change, you must first change yourself
Your outer world reflects your inner world. Don't you have any acquaintances whose lives are chaotic and stressful? Isn't this largely due to the fact that they are chaotic on the inside? It is, indeed. We like to believe that changing our circumstances will cause us to change. However, we have it backwards: we must first change ourselves before our circumstances will change.
4. There is no such thing as failure; only opportunities for learning
You should simply eliminate the word “failure” from your vocabulary. Every great person who has ever accomplished anything has “failed” numerous times. In fact, I believe it was Thomas Edison who said, “I did not fail at inventing the light bulb; I simply found 99 ways that it did not work.” Take your alleged “failures” and learn from them. Learn from your mistakes and improve your performance the next time.
5. If you don't get what you want, it just means that something better is on the way
I know it's difficult to believe at times. But it is correct. When you look back on your life, you will usually be able to see why it was a good thing that something didn't work out. Perhaps the job you didn't get required you to spend more time away from your family, but the job you did get was more flexible. Just have faith that everything will unfold exactly as it should.
6. Be mindful of the present moment
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And there is always something valuable in every moment. Don't let this opportunity pass you by! It will soon be a distant memory. Even moments that do not appear to be happy can be viewed as something you might miss someday. As Trace Adkins sings in his country song, “You're going to miss this… You're going to want it back. You're going to wish these days hadn't flown by so quickly….you may not realize it yet, but you're going to miss this…”
7. Let go of your desires
The majority of people have a “attached mind.” This means that they attach themselves to a desire, and when they don't get it, their emotions spiral downward. Instead, try to cultivate a “detached mind.” That is, if you want something, you will be happy whether you get it or not. Your feelings are either happy or neutral.
8. Recognize and appreciate your fears
Fear can be an excellent teacher. And conquering your fears can make you feel victorious. For example, in college, I was terrified of public speaking (one of the top 3 fears of all humans). So it's amusing to me now that, in addition to speaking in front of a group every day as a college professor, I also teach public speaking! Overcoming fears is simply a matter of practice. Fear is merely an illusion. It is entirely optional.
9. Allow yourself to feel joy
Believe it or not, I know far too many people who refuse to have fun. And they have no idea how to be happy. Some people are so addicted to their problems and the chaos within them that they don't know who they are without them. So try to give yourself permission to be happy! Even if only for a brief moment, it is critical to focus on your joy rather than your difficulties.
10. Do not compare yourself to others
But, if you must compare yourself, do so with people who have it worse than you. Unemployed? Be thankful that you live in a country that provides unemployment benefits, because the majority of the world's population lives on less than $750 per year. So you don't resemble Angelina Jolie? Well, I'm sure there are more people who don't than those who do. And you're probably more attractive than most people. Concentrate on that.
11. You are not a helpless victim
You must overcome your own impediments. You are nothing more than a “victim” of your own thoughts, words, and actions. Nobody “does” anything to you. You are the architect of your own reality. Accept personal responsibility and recognize that you can overcome your difficulties. All you have to do is begin by altering your thoughts and actions. Get rid of your victim mentality and become a victor. Victim to VICTORY!
12. Things can and do change
One of my favorite sayings is, “And this, too, shall pass.” When we are in a bad situation, we believe there is no way out. We don't believe anything will ever change. However, guess what? It certainly will! Except for death, nothing is permanent. So break the habit of believing that things will always be this way. They will not. However, in order for things to change, you must take action. It is not going to happen by itself.
13. Everything is possible
Every day, miracles occur. They really do. I wish I had enough room to write about all the miraculous things that have happened to people I know, from naturally healing stage 4 cancer to meeting their soul mate out of nowhere. It happens all the time, believe me. All you have to do is believe. Once you've done so, you've won the battle.
Spent Time With Friends: Allowing the mind time to relax is good for the soul. Spending time with good company makes this even better. A great way to spend time with friends is doing something you both enjoy. Playing sports or board games are great ways to do this! It's also a good idea to take a walk outside. A stroll through the woods or along the beach, along with some time to breathe the fresh air, makes the mind feel refreshed. Whether it's with close friends or family, taking some time to decompress will make you feel refreshed! Read more.
Stop Taking Selfies: The art of taking selfies has been around for centuries. In the 1700s, the first selfies were made when people began taking pictures of themselves in mirrors. Today, selfies are much more advanced. Technology has advanced in many ways recently, and there are selfies all over social media. Today's selfies are in high definition and in a wide range of colors. Read more.
Nice Person: There are plenty of misconceptions about what constitutes a 'nice person'. From my experience, I find that it's more than just being respectful and courteous to other people. The things that I personally find to be the hallmarks of a nice person are honesty, integrity, and loyalty. You can build strong relationships with people by being nice to them! Read more.
Things to Do When You're Single: You spent years building your life to the perfect place. You're happy. You love your job, your community, your life. Then, you meet someone interesting. You're not ready to settle down, so you start seeing this person casually. All your friends want to know, "Are you seeing anyone?" For now, the answer is no. But, here are some things to do when you're single! Read more.
My Mom Is Cool: My mom is cool because she taught me everything I know. She always has the right thing to say, she always manages to make me feel better, and she's always there for me. She's so supportive and I don't know where I'd be without her. In my opinion, she's the best mom in the world! Read more.
You have heard it all before: "Live life to the fullest", "follow your dreams", "be who you are" and "if it is meant to be, it will be". These are all wonderful quotes that are meant to help you live a happy life but they miss the point. Our lives are interconnected with each other and with the world.
No matter how hard you think you try, there’s always going to be a certain level of stress in your life. And when stress gets out of hand, it can start to negatively affect your life. But this doesn’t have to be the case. There are some easy steps you can take to improve your life in the long run, and we’ve found a few that can help you enjoy a better life and get rid of stress.