Why Can’t I Change (The Ultimate Guide + Image Quotes)

Are you having difficulty achieving some of your goals and have no idea what the problem might be? People are frequently perplexed by the fact that they are unable to achieve success despite being extremely organized, employing a variety of different techniques and methods, and starting out with the best of intentions, etc. What you may not read in many self-help books is that you could be using the most effective techniques in the world and following all of the rules, but if you're not completely honest with yourself, it could all be for naught.

So, what are you supposed to be truthful with yourself about? The two main issues I've discovered that prevent people from achieving their goals are 1.) a disconnect between their actions and their goals, and, brace yourself, 2.) a lack of desire and will to achieve their goals – even if you want it badly!

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Misalignment of Actions and Objectives

The disconnect between your actions and goals not only prevents you from achieving your goals, but it may also lead you down the path of wasting valuable time and effort attempting to achieve something you couldn't care less about. This disconnect can appear in two ways:

1. The right actions for the wrong goal: Have you ever set a goal based on what others think is important rather than what you personally value, enjoy, and find fulfilling? Unfortunately, if the goal isn't something you personally value, even taking the right actions to achieve it is unlikely to be fruitful. It usually results in a conflict between what you really want to do and what you think you have to do – this conflict will demotivate you and pull you into a cycle of procrastination. If your goals are motivated by a ‘have to or should do' rather than a ‘want to,' those are red flags!

2. Incorrect actions toward the correct goal: The process of assigning actions to specific goals can be influenced by a variety of factors that you should be aware of. Maybe you don't have enough information on what the best next steps are. Perhaps you are afraid of the changes that may occur as a result of your actions? Alternatively, you may lack confidence in your ability to carry out the necessary actions, or you may be unwilling to invest the effort required to make a necessary change, and as a result, either consciously or subconsciously, you end up prioritizing actions that are simple but ineffective in achieving your goal.

My recommendation: Simply having the right heart will not get you anywhere. Similarly, doing all of the right things half-heartedly isn't going to get you very far. To achieve your objectives, you must take the appropriate actions and maintain the appropriate attitude. The only way to do so is to ensure that your goals are aligned with your personal values, as well as to choose (and pursue) actions based on their importance to your goal, rather than how easy/convenient they may be. This frequently necessitates us being more honest with ourselves, even if we don't like what we hear.

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Inadequate Motivation to Achieve Specific Goals

It may be a painful (and sometimes frightening, life-changing) realization to come to, but if you find yourself unable to take action toward a goal, it's quite possible that your desire to achieve the goal simply isn't strong enough to motivate you to action! We've all heard/read about people who defy the odds to achieve their goals; the reason they were able to do so was because they were motivated enough by the end result to put in a lot of effort!

The sooner you are honest with yourself about what you truly want, the less time you will waste pursuing something that will never make you happy. As the saying goes, “you can never get enough of what you don't really want” (Eric Hoffer); in other words, until you acknowledge your true desires, you will continue to pursue many different paths to no avail – nothing will ever seem fulfilling/motivating enough.

So, how can you tell how badly you want to achieve your objectives? If you identify with any of the following points, you may want to reconsider your goals:
When the opportunity to save money presents itself, you seize it.
If you truly want to learn a new language, for example, you would accept the challenges and invest in the benefits of delayed gratification rather than cutting corners and seeking quick, short-term solutions with immediate, and strictly short-term gratification, such as learning only a couple of words that you know you'll need.

You give up when things become difficult and require more effort.

For example, if you want to learn more about running your own business but can't bring yourself to read any books or attend relevant seminars. You only have the energy and motivation to act on the simple things.

When you're in an uncomfortable situation, you always look for a more convenient way out.
For example, if your goal is to exercise more frequently but you are unable to increase your weekly exercise hours because you are unwilling to try new, potentially more effective forms of exercise. There is no cookie cutter approach to achieving your objectives; instead, you must find the right recipe for you if the one you currently have tastes bad!

You do not revise your strategy

For example, suppose your goal is to wake up at 7 a.m. every day, but you hit the snooze button the next day. The majority of people give up after a few attempts. Instead of re-adjusting the plan until it works – which is frequently required – most people will get it wrong the first time.

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My advice: It's critical to distinguish between the quantitative focus of your goals (being more financially secure, for example) and the qualitative experience you hope to gain from them. If you don't understand the real WHY behind your goals, you won't be motivated to stick with them. Find a WHY that is significant enough to serve as your metaphorical water-skis – it should propel you forward and keep you going even when you are struggling to stay afloat! Once you've discovered your WHY, creating a plan to get there becomes much easier!

Are You Willing To Be Honest With Yourself?

Don't be discouraged if you identify with some of the issues mentioned above. The first step in resolving a problem is correctly diagnosing it so that it can be fixed and learned from. If goals were that easy to achieve, they wouldn't be called goals, but rather “to-dos” – achieving them won't be easy, but if they're the right goals for you, the effort will be well worth it!

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You have heard it all before: "Live life to the fullest", "follow your dreams", "be who you are" and "if it is meant to be, it will be". These are all wonderful quotes that are meant to help you live a happy life but they miss the point. Our lives are interconnected with each other and with the world.

No matter how hard you think you try, there’s always going to be a certain level of stress in your life. And when stress gets out of hand, it can start to negatively affect your life. But this doesn’t have to be the case. There are some easy steps you can take to improve your life in the long run, and we’ve found a few that can help you enjoy a better life and get rid of stress.

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